Kemmiiii's Blog


Posted on: July 31, 2011

Since The YNaija #hashtag party saga, I have been meaning to write this post…my hectic week did not let me…But @KevinWithAnL (agbaya like him) beat me to guy…He did it so well I did not feel like posting this again…read it Here

Oh well! Now you’ve seen that im sure you are reeling with laughter…God go make me funnier o!

Let me add that my sweeetie @Dhamyhan is now my official Editor..yelz!


#NIGERIANTWITTER…where can I even start from??  Is it the Gbagauns? Or the Twitter Lords? or the Twitter Celebs? Or the twitter Polize? Or the Houseboys and Housegirls? Or the Odina Wannabes? Or the Quiz master wannabes? or Sir and lady Famz-a-lots? Dont lemme bore you… I remember when twitter was just for fun…You’ll just come, tweet trash, make sense, nobody to stroke you and all….

I think the population of the Nigerian Twitter Community Took a Geometric increase that is why we have all sorts now! 😦 I even remember when the Gbagaun detector first Gbagauned me…I was so mad! I got over 100 mentions! I insulted him ehn…But I realised that it was just for fun…Twitter is not real life…It’s just a social network and the Gbagaun detector was having his fun and there i was fuming in front of my 2700..Thank God I did not even enter his favourites..see his favourites here

Nobody is perfect…But your Gbagauns make twitter fun…It’s even more fun when the Twitter Lord’s sitting on their ‘Throwns’ gbagaun..The feeling is better than getting your picture ‘taking’ after ‘catching’ a big cheque.

There is this particular Twitter Celeb….Very popular for his quizzes..Cool Aura is what he calls himself! He takes it to heart when you gbagaun any of his tweets..He will even go as far as blocking you *CHEERS* …He now came up with Twitter Amnesty Programme (TAP) where he was unblocking people with so much grandeur..who does that?? Im even surprised he dosent have a PA For his account yet…

Sadly, I was once his faithful student *_*…I wonder where he will be without google…I guess google has failed him now..cuz now he only tweets stolen quotes…Hehe and he was the one that caused that YNaija ish o! This leads me to the next…

So there was this party Hosted by Ynaija and Chocolate City (Im saying this for the sake of members of the last carriers association) So them twitter celebs went…Aura Cool twitpiced a picture of he, the detector and black super man…that Is how the ugly talk started…..Different tweets started rolling in…’Ugly’ even trended…

It was a bad night for them I’m sure..they shook It off really well…People were saying that there was no way on earth that the detector was gonna keep on Gbagauning people….they were so wrong! He resurfaced…with a gbagaun!! There was this really mean tweet and I quote “How can you “gbagaun” people’s tweets when you look like mother nature’s own “gbagaun”? #Fuckery” 😦

That is the life of a twitter celeb o! Your every tweet is dare not gbagaun what a life!

Moving On..

I’ve made some really amazing additions to the dictionary we’ve seen over time…

Superstar -> Soup or Star ( made popular by the he yay yay yay crooner)

Antiperspirant Deodorant -> Antiperspective Deodorant

Mermaid -> Marmade

Thrown -> Throne

Hills -> heels/ hiss

Self Esteem -> selves of steam

Catch -> Cash

Riff Raff -> Rift Raft (by someone very close to my heart)

Diesel ->Dizzle (Rita #udontmeanit)

Taking -> Taken

Diss -> Ditch (Na Lasu babe talk am >_>)

Suede Spray -> Swayed Spray

Peace -> Piss

Pray without ceasing ->Pray without seizing

Leornado Di Caprio -> Leolanda Di Caprisonne

Ambience → Umbeyonce

*sigh* It is well…Let us all pray without ‘siezing’ so that it will remain well..

Do I need to talk about twitfights, the twitfighters and the tribalists? They are all just Yellow Bar Seekers…You cant NOT care about someone’s opinion and twitfight the person for his/her opinion…you just kent!!

Those tribalists ehn! their own is another case…they were taking it out on poor IB girls like s well with their bitter souls..

Its true sef…Almost everybody is now allergic to bullshit or Dosent Give A Fuck…when the bull now does the big  job who will now pack it then?

AHA!! The Houseboys and Housegirls…They help you cc people in your subs..We have many of them around…they can serve as voltrons at times…

Many  Twitter sociologists have propanded the caste system…here is mine….

Twitter Lords > Twitter Celebs > General Public > Famzers > Househelps > Tribalists > Quiz masters > Odinas

I have many things dancing in my head right now..ranging from the sexy, hawt, pwettie and all handles that their avatars say quite the opposite..and all the Famzers and all the teams #teamfollowback and all sorts…There are so many teams that someone new to twitter might think it’s a sports site…..But this is a saga for another day..

And remember…

It’s just twitter.


Rants and Additions are welcome..use the comment box…CHEERS 😀

PS: Many Thanks to all the people that have been supporting me!! You guys rock!!

PPS: Don Jazzy’s Enigma is causing something else o! different songs sha! In case you haven’t heard Vic O’s song ‘Why Evils’ Download it here It is the best yet! *ROTFL* Vic O for president!! We are still awaiting Majela’s link..

PPPS: (I  wonder why I must have a PS everytime!) News getting to me states that there was a fight at the #TeamYabaLeft RAG party…And there is a video!! Hehe i think a video is better than pictures…Pictures lie!


32 Responses to "#NIGERIANTWITTER"

Where did you get that Insignia of Naija Twitter?! Thank you for the Vic-O link. 😀

My bad! No photo credit! It was from Google Images…YW and thank you for dropping by 🙂

Lol…keLvin was here!
Thanks for the link to mine and sorry I ‘beat’ you to it. It was a spontaneous post written at about this time (2am) after a conversation with my chic.
Bored and unsleepy, I decided to write 😀
I’m happy to always see your links. Good to know you’re eaasing into writing amidst your tight med.schedule.
More wetness to your…emmm
You get my drift 😀

Lol! Thank you Kelvin…that post was too nice for a spontaneous post..
Ha! Yh I get! 😀

Word!!! Vic-O’s version is hands down “un-best-able”… #ThatIsAll… *Straight face*…

Not bad, first blog I ever read (I always stay clear of them)… Err. @dhamyan is Ūя̲̅ editor? (No comment)! Nice work dear, dnt forget to ‘cc me’ on d next one! Cheers!

Kemi! I bet you gathered your info through personal relations. But all of it so true and true to every word. I wouldn’t actually know so much about twitter, twitter, twitter. But the little I know I see it here. The caste system is just as funny as it is. Looking at it, I think I belong to the general public (what do you think?)But the quiz-masters whose quizzes are failing because google is almost a plus site, the tweetlords and the twitter celebs. You belong here though. Yes and the odina wanabees. That’s a nice write up. Writing this while still feeling sleepy. Ignore my arrangement and get the gist. I trust you anyways. Weldone!

Thank you Folarin 🙂 I think we both belong to the general public…I always look foward to your comment ^_^

I’m honored ma’am. And there is this teamfollowback. They would always want their followers to be more than their following. I don’t know what category/caste you’d put that. They tweet nothing but wants followers. How is that possible? Over 900 followers and you still beg for followers, do they sell them? Or use them as collateral in banks for loan? Lol. Don’t mind me. But its just so true. Someone saw my profile and said ‘why are you havung more following than followers with the rate at which you tweet.’ I just looked at her because it never occured to me that followers more be more than following.

Lol! I think such people should be classified as Twitter Celeb wannabes cuzz it’s only the celebs that have far more followers than they follow..check the trend.

*sigh* I don weak… Literally ROTF… And to think this babe is a Med student… Nice One there Kemmiiii… And NB… I was smelling me all over the post. To think the ‘general public’ is (singular verb ‘to be’) greater than US… Ooops! I just roped me in. All in all… Nice one here. And tho’ he beat u to it, first ain’t always best. I had a better laugh here. Not tryna compare oh!

Cool post again Kemmiiii,I dnt even wanna ask were I belong sef lol but yeah u got it all right,I keep reading only ur blog posts cos I know u won’t fail me …Awesome 😉

Hu are the twitter lords??.. Pls can we see d video

They twitter Lords are the ones that pride themselves as the lawmakers….The person with the video did not post it eventually..

Awe…I missed all this…*in don’t jelox me voice* sheeeeeeeeeeeeeet mehn!!! Oh absentee-tweetaratiis
Na we de carry last 😀 loved da post, yesss!!!!!!!

Thank you Ope! come back to twitter soon! we miss you! 😦

Y nt change ur course form & go 4 journalism… #justsayin…. Dis is rilli nice.. Keep it up

9ce & informative if you ask me. *tnk God u didnt* i must admit i missed most of what happend last week. Bt btw u & kev, i caught up fast. Tnx again

Kemmii when did u become dis hilarious? Thumbs up anyway. This is d first blog I’ve ever read

Lol. Nice one. Bet me I’m stil a student of Mazi aura cool nice blog. Lmao. But I fink its possible too belong to 2 or more categories in dt Caste system

kem dela creme

rotfl dis weyreh geh has done it again…nd yes twitter aint as fun anymore 😦 we wil cont 2 ‘pray witout siezing’
P.s kelvinwitanl’s blog is freakin hilarious… 😀

I had better update my vocabulary….. *nice one*

lol! you really should! Or the Thrown lords will have your head..

My advice for TweetLords wld be – go and get a real job, TweetCelebs – go and get a real life, Odinas – go and get deliverance & a real doctor 😀


Wow, this is both cool and witty! Your blog makes me want to blog (Pls this is NOT a figurative expression). I’ll be looking forward to consequent similar topics. #TeamFollowback(byforce) grind my gears the most, Given the time and opportunity I could mail you my grievances as reference material in future blogs about 9jaTwitter.

PPPPS: Good work, Keep it up and when necessary, Slow it Down. Cos if you fail MEDschool ppl will laugh oh… hmmm even me I can’t guarantee my allegiance at this time.

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  • cycatrx: Kem dela creame....... :d
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