Kemmiiii's Blog


Posted on: August 13, 2011

*In The ER*


We’re losing her Nurse get us some nebulised salbutamol,

STAT Where’s the oxygen concentrator,

place her on humidified 95% oxygen ASAP

we’re losing her…..!

Lets apply some cardiac pressure now !


Tinu fell in love just like any other person would. But she craved for more.

Every bit and every piece of Segun was adorable. He was an absolute adornment. He was definitely unlike the others. Her first love. Her first true man. He made lotsa stuff go wrong in her. He made Her neurons misfire, he made her intestines sing, he made her secrete tears and made her juices flow.

When the love became mutual, he proved to be unlike the others. He called more frequent, he visited regularly, he hugged more closely, he kissed more deeply, he loved more openly, he pinged repeatedly, he texted daily, and the midnight calls were always steady.

Month after month, waiting for the right cue, waiting for the full moon to set up the right mood, they made out. It started with a kiss on the cheek, then succulent kisses on the lips, on & on, till the break of dawn, they kept singing on and on till the the cock joined with the cuckoo song.

*The Attack*

It was on one sunny silk afternoon when lizards were too lazy to chase after stray roaches. When sheep looked like dazed witches ruminating on weeds and curds. When roosters ran up and down looking for a hen on heat. When weak and lethargic chicks trailed after agile hens in search of crumbs.

Segun made way solemnly on his fragile about-to-cut sandals to that single room where Tinu resided. He’d never knocked more than once since inception; it was like she was always waiting by door. But today, He knocked the second, then the third, still nothing. He placed a listening ear close to the door; he could only hear whispers, soft silent whispers. And in an instant a myriad of thoughts came reeling through his head. His first thought was promiscuity. Anger sprawled into his soul and without much thought, forcefully, he pushed the door open. And there she was, laying on the floor, trying to reach for the door with pale hands, skin all blue, breathless, all alone with a steaming pot of oil by the corner. She managed to whisper the words ‘in-ha-ler’ quietly through cyanotic lips. Segun dashed to the side drawer, rummaged for the inhaler amongst wristwatches perfumes,and make-up all sort. She managed to take some puffs and slowly, the colour returned to her face. In all the 3 years they’d been together, never for once did Segun get the cue that his love was asthmatic. The attack was triggered by the steaming oil. She wanted to fry those special plantains segun loved, but instead she almost lost her life?

*Her Black Bile*

“Its impossible. It can’t be. Not in this life time. Segun was none like the others. He would love me till the end. He said he would and till death he should”.

But such scenery which she laid eyes on; such sadness. Oh guardian of hell, forgive segun for he has sinned, such delicate truce did he break. Such sadness.

So it started like this, Tinu was going to visit as was the routine.

She took brisk steps in a hurry to see Segun, in a hurry to feed segun with some eye/mouth watering fried rice and a throat obstructing chicken. When she got to his hostel block, she took the nod of not knocking but instead coming in slowly, gently and kissing him on the forehead down by the bed where he’ll probably lay asleep.

By Jove! Segun was found moaning faced down on his bed, half naked, sweaty and breathless. jennifer on the contrary lay quietly still beneath him taking in his manhood with great pleasure.

Without much ado, she dropped the food flask, leaving behing a heavy sound at seguns doorstep. She headed back to her single room in great speed. Filled with melancholy. looking bereaved. Passers-by stared at her sad mien while they watched tears drip down her face like a stream.

The sadness became unbearable; she fell to the ground, sitting alone on that brown colored clay soil. Then all of a sudden, she felt the aura of another attack. Her inhaler was no where nearby. She turned blue, breathless, gasping for the invisible air. Passers-by watched in awe, afraid she was probably bewitched, some took to their heels. A Good Samaritan braced up the courage to take her to the district hospital. And that was where the story started

*In the ER*

Attending Nurse: (screams) EMERGENCY!

Attending Nurse 2: (places vital sign monitor,counts pulse and respiratory rate)

Attending Nurse 3: (assesses the situation runs to get oxygen concentrator)

Attending Doctor: places her on STAT nebulised salbutamol

(He screams)


Attending Nurse 3: (she arrives), places her on humidified 95% oxygen.

Attending doctor: we dont want her going hypoxic here

(screams Attending Nurse 2)

WE ARE LOSING HER….. VITAL SIGNS ARE POOR Attending Doctor: (about to apply cardiac pressure CPR)

(Segun walks in sweaty and exhausted)

Segun: No Doctor! Please be easy on the pressure, I just broke her heart.

Note: seriously now, emotional disturbances could trigger asthma attacks


Thank you for Reading..

Before you get any ideas, This story was written by another friend of mine.. Idris ( @cycatrx ).

Read his other interesting stories here


Oh! I forgot the footnotes…Google is your friend tho!

Anyway Footnotes:

1) Salbutamol is basically a drug that allows the airways to open to allow easy breathing..But Nebulised Salbutamol is used to treat severe cases of Asthma in the hospital..

2) Yóu should know what asthma is *side eye*

3) Hypoxia is the Deficiency of Oxygen in the body can be caused by many things! But in Tinu’s case, the asthma did not let  her breathe well so no oxygen intake..

Further questions can be asked in the comment box or tweeted @me  or @cycatrx…@Cycatrx preferably because he is my senior colleague by far! 🙂


15 Responses to "Ambsace"

*mental note to self* Never date an asthmatic. #OkBye.

I can relate. But I like to warn them 1st sha, give em headsup “Dude, I might react to somethings funny, so if its gonna freak u out, biko take ur leave now!”
Before he’ll now be the one to faint.
Singing intestines tho! Lmho!!!!!

#Notetoself: Never break the heart of an asthmatic.
Quite enlightening! Oh and iWish iCould have some throat obstructing chicken now.
Great piece!

Hmmm… noted! Any other ‘allergies’ of asthmatics we should know?

Chei! See as dem use medical jargons finish us o!! On top love story for that matter…

I had issues with choice of words in several places. Seemed like an attempt at poetics at some points, at others just simple story-telling, then it was drama format at the end. At the end of the day, though, I did enjoy the story, so (y)…

Nice…learnt a lot.

witty, especially when you don’t know what nebulised salbutamaol is (i’m not that ignorant, I know what it is) although you had me going back to the dictionary for hypoxia, I should have waited for the foot notes….. Another nice one.

Nawa! We must sha show dt we’re in med-skl. Good story-line and I kinda agree wit @olatoxic.
P.S: I dnt rily get, did she die?? And lmao @ d CPR nd ‘I just broke her heart’ part.

Questions, questions… eRrrm, I gatz thank ya’ll for thankin kemi first… errm @tinymadamie, well errm, asthma don’t kill in a whole lotta situations except is the horrible type of asthma(status asthmaticus),so errm, I don’t think tinu would die, she was probably havin brunch wit d angel of death. So that’s it……

Yh, so oda precipitAnt of asthma…… Well errrm, dey r plenty(runnin 2 book),so ama jes gonna list em
1. Allergens: indoor/outdoors (dusts, mites, even roaches sef)
2. Animals, cats and dogs
3. Environmental pollutants, smoke, dust, lagos traffic
4. Chemicals
5. Respiratory infections eg catarrh and all sort
6. Pychological stress(as in tinu’s case)
7. Tobacco
8. Drug and a whole lot, u can want to check ur wikipedia for a list of asthma precipitants

So that’s it…… Personally, I think asthma is a beautiful dX, we jes gattu care for those wit asthma, no stigma attached, jes care for em. Like if u live with an asthmatic, u shud sweep for em always to prevent dust accumulation, don’t expose em to so much smoke and bla bla bla……..tnx pple(danke)…….God bless us all wit good health…….

Wow! First things first, d fact dat @cycatrx wrote dis is totally unbelievable… D dude has got gr8 skills n can evoke emotions (mel gibson style) wiv his writing! I’m very impressed… Βα̲̅ck to d article, nice story n detailing, I felt I was watching it n nt reading… D humor at d end nailed it, lolz! N.B I av a weakness for fragile pple, weird as it sounds I might end up wiv an asthmatic,…

‘be easy on the pressure, i js broke her heart’ ko ni da fun aiye boy yen! stewpeed boy!!! he shld clear from that room before i use scalpel to carve out his useless brain! mchewwww! *dusts hands*
i watched some silly girl almost choke to death on her saliva like a month ago. she was running to the lecture hall so she could get a chair.the attack starts and she cant attend the class. she sits outside wheezing. some1 grabs her inhaler and practically jams it down her throat, like 12 people surrounded her and were staring. idiots. i was trying to tell them to move away and take her to the clinic but everyone was being stupid. i watched the bubbles form in her mouth and i thought to myself, am i actually watching someone die of this? will i this happen to me one day?

couple of people took her to the clinic when the choking started and when the doctors saw her, after stabilizing her they blasted her. why? she’d just been discharged days before for the same thing. some people are just plain careless. heck i was too until yawa nearly gas and i told myself time to die neva reach. asthma is not some kinda terminal disease please. too many people act like “you have asthma? ah, joor o” as if it means u shall die. only difference is if you have it u gotta be more careful than most people. and its quite painful when people start to act funny when they knw. That’s probably why the chic in the story never told Mr easy-on-the-pressure.

Hey nuttyqama, tnx for em comment…….glad 2 know u absolutely undastand and u witnessed somefin similar. I ve a cousin who’s been asthmatic for a long time too, he’s been on steroids for a long time and naw his chest is all big and all……tnx ms, naw ff-in u……

ok ok. That’s some masterpiece writing there. When i saw ER, i was like some medical terms would be much here and trust me, a second tab opened with google and a third with wikipedia…….lol. Ok, I wouldn’t say too much, its such nice to read this. andd kemmiiii, will always wanna make me read everything she writes on here to the end, because towards that end she has got some funny stuff at all times. BTW, you didnt tell me whats asthma is, tell me what it is because google has quit being my friend o. lol.

nice work @cycatrx

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