Dear Future Husband

Posted by: Kemmiiii on: October 2, 2011

• In: In my Head
• 71 Comments

                    “Men are like buses: one goes, another comes but only one takes you home. Don’t Miss that bus.”                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Kemi’s Room

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Awesome Grace Villa

                                                                                                                                                                                                           Venus

Kemi’s Future husband.

Mars

Olowo Ori Mi! Eye Mi! The Sugar in my cupboard, The cockroach in my tea.

I hope this meets you well o! And you better be reading this! Pay careful attention o! You know listening is one of the keys to a successful relationship..ehen!

I must say, you are one very lucky basterd! With the number of people tryna set p now eh! and you still came through, O ku Orire!

I even wonder what you are doing at the moment. You better not be chyking another babe o! Because I’m meant to be your one and only! The time here says 6:34 pm. You should be in a library or reading somewhere reading Maths and stuff seeing as you will become a Maths Teacher  Petrochemical Engineer. Notice the specificity? We must taste that National cake. I don’t want a glorified mechanic o! My papa no fit hear am.

So that we shall not argue when we meet, Let me lay down the rules. MY RULES.

1. You know why God sent us to earth na? 🙂 We shall obey him to the letter. Obey him Morning, afternoon and night. Obey him in the shower, On the kitchen table, In the nursery, Surprise visit to your office, and anywhere. I’m obedient like that. Not that we cannot feel the need to be obedient at the same time. So hold yourself. If you like Cheat. Castration is your portion.

2. You know the actual will of God is to make babies. I just hope ’em babies roll in at the right time. I don’t want ours to be the case of the couple that terminated their pregnancy cuz they wanted time for each other.

We are gonna have 8 babies!

Oh your head is getting light? Have a comfy seat \)___ Yes! 8 babies. Sextuplets and a set of twins. Don’t get all woozy, you will be fine. Just start learning how to multitask. Preparing baby food and changing diapers will come naturally to you.

Ahem! start researching on the necessary food supplements and stuff that can increase your firing rate.  To achieve such feat, we require extra effort.

3.  My love!! You don’t expect me to do all the cooking and clinting *In Madea’s voice* O le wa pa mi fun Baba mi eh! My pops knows how to cook so you sef you must sabi! Note that boiling water does not count as cooking. Just in case of anything, learn how to cook so that hunger will not finish our children.

4. The issue of Ekaettae is something I’m still considering. Mi o wa fe ki omo gbo’ko lowo mi. Banky W will now be singing my theme song! Mba!

5.  Date NIghts. We shall set out at least two days in a month to go on dates. Don’t say because we’re married you can’t start doing anyhow o! You will pretend as if its our first date…I hope you know a visit to Mr. Biggs does not count as a date.

Ehen! For our actual first date, you can like to take hints from @bule_jr’s Date Days. That  should help.

6. Pay very good attention now o! Me I don’t want all those clichéd proposals. Too boring! I want something you don’t see everyday like proposing when we go bungee jumping of Eko bridge. You had better be an adrenaline junkie.

7. Our Song. I really wonder what ‘our song’ will be But Iwant to make a suggestion.

There are many songs in my head. First I thought of Bracket’s “Yori Yori” I changed my mind when I heard “Mueh Mueh” who does that?

Then we have “Something about you” by Dr.  Sid. I fux with this song mehn. d(^_^)b. I mean that song is a good song.

“We go get big house for Sokoto Banana Island”

“Our children no go be Olodo” Yes ke! My brain + Your brain should gives us whiz kids. ( Not the he ye ye ye crooner type o Cuz I don’t want my kids telling me..”Mummy you’re a soup or star”

“No cheating and no Ojoro” Like I said, na castration get you!

I was also considering Seyi Shodimu’s “Love me jeje” but I don’t want to seem too ancient.

8. Discipline. There shall be no such thing as flogging o! If I hear am!  You dunno what Menstrual cramps feel like. Not to talk of the strains of child birth. You will not kill my child for me. Punishments like “Stand in the corner”, “Go to your room”, “You’re grounded” or Pinfall can suffice. This doesn’t mean the children will be spoilt.

That is all I have in mind for now. I just hope I haven’t forgotten anything. Extra details shall be forwarded to you.

Remain blessed my dear.

Use your seat belt o!

Don’t shame me ehn so that my case will not be the case of the babe in 27 dresses and all those nosy relatives will not start talking.

Do come at the RIGHT time.

With so much love in my heart,

Oluwakemi.

Tags: Girly, Love, Personal, Random