Kemmiiii's Blog

690

Posted on: January 21, 2012

Hi People, Anslem Filling in for Kemmiii here;

I’m quite a busy man, busy… by every known definition of the word BUSY! Before I log on…abeg make I talk how my journey take start. I was going through my group profile on facebook (Natures Children) then I was just a new member when suddenly I saw a post. It was posted by my brother Kelechi Kemnele on “Letter to my wife” >>.>> done with scanning through,I proceeded to drive off but then, my kid sister with whom I was sharing the little frame of my phone to read the post just screamed, wait! Just puzzled, my countenance changed and she showed to me something like…..here’s a reply from another blogger…

Not too interested, and in a bid to satisfy my sheer curiosity, at first I skimmed through, later scanned and then became so fully engrossed. Haba… My ego as a man was bruised…heh??? A babe wrote this??? And from that day… I left my blog to concentrate on appraising her blog if it’s worth my attention. Though I’ve got a full four paged reply to her (Kemmiiii)…

I’ve got a PLAN!!! And that’s to release the post some days before Valentine’s Day ….Hahahahahahah!!!! (((Sneezes (_–_) )))).That, I guess, will be the best time frame to put ladies like Kemmiiii with “dia” endless emotional and psychological shopping list in check! Fortunately… I’m well positioned for her “wish list”……I heavy die!!!

(Hmmm I hear someone say watcha finking) <<< dey dia if I no blo ma Trump”ET Na you go blo am???

Ok. That’s the online history ab initio of how I came in contact with Kemmiiii’s blog and the rest is subscribing to her post while I’m still putting my sketchy blog in shape….At least to give the  woman a voice.

Today.

I’m assuming the tripartite writer”. U must have viewed that movie.. The Ghost writer. Somewhat like it but mine is different. I’m viewing this current issue in Naija and came to the conclusion that some folks are quite ill informed, myopically displaced while the others are socially acting tweedy”” eh na! dem no know wetin subsidy be, and dey just following the trend and commenting on the side that has major facts to carry them along whether right or wrong…..Examples like this make me Para>>>>>>>(u can complete the grammar dan’Allah <Hausa>….>(please)

The Current plagues in Naija.

It amazes me how eminent, elite and well read Nigerians are treating the dicey issue of subsidy. Here’s what subsidy means.

Subsidy is money given by the Government a grant or gift of money, financial assistance to companies either private or state owned, organization to help it to function

In Aba: Haa’ si na subsidy ge’me nid isi nor’na govermenti ga ‘zuu egbe;na ihe ndi ozor’’’ha ne’gi alu’a agha(they said that will make head of government parastatals to aquire guns and other things used for war.

The other man sitting under the Peugeot 406.. sharply cuts in ….Ta! Eku’zi’na ifa>>> (don’t say that again)

He washes his hand in the fuel meant to serve as a mechanical reagent or whatever and cleans his left hand…his back pocket na im be the rag-towel and continues’

Who told you ? eh ? who told you? He continues….Okonjo Iweala… who is currently the chief of army barracks and minister of oil subsidy (which kain posishun be that ??)  said  that subsidy .. is for the oil to be imported from the ground and then let the federalgovernment keep the ships and hand over to the demurrage head quarters!!!!!

What an idea! …..what do we call this …ignoratio elenchi…..abi na  argumentum ad verecundiam…. Pls sort ya sef out.. the man sef na professor…..

In Benin: In a bus heading to Ugbowo (near Uniben)….pinging… pinging. texting… the girl behaving sexy…. Having a swag coefficient of 6.7/ 10 at least a B++ swag … u know na… she blew it all up. How?  After dropping her call…her countenance  changed… so her friend…(name with held) asked…. Whats the mara (hmm na hia my ear pin wella)…..  She began her replies like this: they said that the av bombs the Yobes people….(eh!) grammar! Person wey dey make call dey talk of Pol 344?? I just shun ….den she continued; I pity for Ty Danjuma ehhh yaaaaa

And her friend asked; why U dey pity am? Quickly she retorted, Na im be the husband of former senator Ehanire Dajuma na….realizing the reason for her friends concern she addeded her own bit of””””eeeehhhh yaaa to express her nonchalant sympathy too. Then the other chick burst my bubbles…. U know now? …. Because that’s the capital of Taraba state! His home state.  Gbam!  eh! For Naija hia….? The man sitting next to the babe cast a serious gaze at me and I nodded my head in Unison……chei Yobe… is the capital of Taraba…. Courtesy of Boko Haram…

Some how I was lambasting seriously, that in a country where everything seems to be a current issue….I learnt a lesson, Not everything” wearing a denim pant, some tops” to match and a koi koi shoe waving a BB (like a flag) could easily be taken as a hip’ chic… Caveat to the guys>>> Interact first before collecting ha n u m b e r s pls!!!

Tobechukwu and I were somewhere along eastern bye pass headed toward NLNG Jetty in Port Harcourt, the traffic hold up was unbearable so guys I had to alight and look for the easiest way to “piss” charpali sharpali… before now, I’d been complaining to Tobe, that I was really hungry… Tobe’ being a stubborn boy… was asking me to make sacrifices on his behalf… He was tapping my foot to keep my complaints low cos he needed to set a “skoto” (like setting a P”) for the chic to fall into” Tobe.’s phone was ringing mercilessly and he saved the number as  “family Nurse”… Me maa… I’ve not heard of an adjective like that used to qualify some’ones position or whatever….

The Chic, was heading to Bonny so see her mum, and I myself my heading somewhere close to NLNG.. I was heading to Finima Island also in Bonny. At least I had budgeted  3 hrs in the sea …. And gradually being kept buried by the tides of hunger .. I finally kept silent … There’s no worst experience like being hungry and feeling sleepy…lie!!!! Try it.. and u will never Sleep. … many thoughts ran through my head.

Later when we arrived at the jetty, I got my ticket while tobe was still “forming” and pacing up and down looking for a cheap lie…. Tobe, Like I’ve always said refused to heed my wise counsel… that is to give the “shenkess” (babe)  some lil cash and free her … Nope! The idiot refused and wanted to drop both of us .. Big boy forming…pocket half empty….

Sharpli. I walked to a fast food centre and  had some meatpie available for myself. On coming back… without interruption… Tobe was already delivering his well rehearsed lines….He just gave ne the normal football signage “like in the case of a free kick”  or somewhat analogical to a director calling it “cut”!! in a movie production scene… .. he was gesticulating  waving his palms as if cutting his neck.. I just bent my head and walked briskly

Hear him” Ibimina” U know how well I’ve planned all this for You… your comfort is my priority (for my mind that one na hotel advert lines ).. the chick was bizi flogging her Pakistani (Indian Moroccan or brazillian)? hair .. while Tobe was delivering his lines… I never anticipated beyond my widest expectations the multiplier effect this fuel subsidy would have on my financial status( hey! At this I paused… Warri!! No dey carry last… I ‘ve already known where he was headed)…

So he continued… for now based on the fuel subsidy issue, >>> Im personally adopting a palliative measure by WATCHING MY WEIGHT  FINANCIALLY!!! (haba! At this Na im  I head towards the house boat… I did not even hail my man ……goodbye…that lie alone. Deserved a standing ovation……. Seriously…….

Ibimina was smiling gladly when I looked back…..

I was headed home……To Finima… To the creeks. Where a canoe trip from Ogbia to Amassoma was a fee of paddling with your strength  unlike cycling from Ikeja to Yaba… or better from Alausa to  Mile 2, …..

After all I once used a Camel In Funtua to make a trip to Dandume Village while I was in the North…..By then I tot I was acting below my standard but when I woke up and saw N 141.10 in TOTAL filling station… I was searching for Ustaz Musbahu’s number to import  some camels to Badagry…. At least…. To make judicious use  of my business acumen…..

Sai anjuma…..!

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3 Responses to "690"

Nice 1

“….WATCHING MY WEIGHT  FINANCIALLY….” Buhahahahaa dat guy is good ….nice 1 bruv

nice story..a tad incoherent but nice phrases & very good vocabulary use…
@author i’m a member of nature’s children on facebook too

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  • Cecila: When shopping from the internet, a numerate of the great unwashed ofttimes take time to scan done a twosome of reviews on the merchandise ahead qual
  • cycatrx: Kem dela creame....... :d
  • bybaaaa: Lol. I just saw this thanks to oumissa. I love you. :*

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