Kemmiiii's Blog

Kemminy Snickets: Series of Unfortunate Events.

Posted on: May 22, 2012

When you buy a phone and it spends one month with you. It gets lost/stolen/misplaced. You buy yet another. The same thing as the former happens to the latter. You but yet another. The same thing. Don’t you see it as a sign?

May the 26th 2011. I misplaced my 3 month old Nokia c6-00. It was this same day I lost my wallet on my way back from the gross lab. My wallet contained my ATM cards, drivers licence and =N=5000 which I withdrew from the ATM that very morning. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t laugh. All I could think was the awesome story I was gonna tell my father about the phone. One thing my pops hates? – Carelessness.

Trust me. You don’t wanna know the story I told him cuz the measures he took were rather extreme; he withdrew me from the school hostel the next day and vowed never to buy me a phone that costs more than 10k. So when I misplace one, it won’t cost him much to replace it.

*Guess the cool story I told him.

Fast forward  September 2011. I was so rich and my hand was itching me to spend money. I bought a Blackberry javelin off someone and this I used for only one month. Around this same period, I misplaced my wallet again.

I know, I’ve been jazzed.

After this, I decided to stick to my Nokias seeing as blackberries and co are not coded in my DNA.

Unfortunately, February 2012 I was dragged back into the blackberry world under funny circumstances. I hid it from my pops so that he’d not think that I had excess money. In actual fact, shingbain! I didn’t have. I was happy until one day. He discovered me pinging my sorrows away. I was LOLing at my phone and I didn’t realise my father was in my room. I told him one awesome fable that seemed to have sunk very deep and I saved my head.

I promised to protect the phone with all my life. No pinging while walking. No pinging in public places. No pinging on buses. No pinging in class and many other lies.

April 2012. Lalupon in Ibadan, Oyo State. My late grandfather’s burial ceremony I  could bet my life that I put my phone in my bag when they called me to do that dust to dust thingy. I was too sure. That phone was moved via bluetooth or more feasibly; Jazz.

Once again. Too many bad things have happened for me to cry. There and then, i promised myself to make a difference on the dance floor even though I don’t posses any special dancing skills to make enough money to buy a new phone. I danced my sorrows away and made a lot of money even though the money wasn’t enough to buy a new phone.

And once again, disaster struck! The money was stolen. All my twisting, jerking and azontoing amounted to nothing. The most painful thing was that it got stolen  in my family house and I really don’t want to believe that I have thieves for  family members.

To the glory of God, I was able to buy the same phone two days later before my daddy could find out.

Happy for me right?

Fast forward Saturday May 19th 2012. Disaster struck again. This time around, I just had to admit that I’m very careless. Very Very. For all I care, That phone just vanished from my hand. Shazam!

I’m careless.

But if I’m careless why will my nokia phone be a year old in a few days and survive all those other phones? I take it as a sign from above.

“Kemi don’t buy expensive sh*t”

If you’ve been following well, you would’ve noticed that bad things happen to me in twos. What second bad thing happened you may ask?

Well, I was playing with my dear friend – It was amebo that caused all this rubbish- I told her to quickly come and look at what someone was wearing from the balcony and she was forming “I’m watching feem” for me. So I playfully dragged her laptop and yanked the screen.

My countenance didn’t even change. My mind was set on something bad happening. It could’ve been bad. Who knows?

I thank Jesus for everything tho, I survive tough times and I have never for once broken down even though I have almost gotten there. I have taken the hint and no more expensive shi*t for me. If its not less than 10k, I’m not buying 😀

I just believe that all these things happen for a reason. My most reasonable explanation is that all these gadgets don’t let me read.

I need your prayers guys.

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19 Responses to "Kemminy Snickets: Series of Unfortunate Events."

Yeah! I think your kindda careless but at the same time, stuffs do happen nd u just have to do what uve done and that is, moving one. Lemme tell u a short story;

When I was young, I always like my old stuffs nd don’t care abt the new ones till my peeps started dashing them out nd when I complained, my mum simply said “ile oba to jona” nd since then, I’ve got to understand that stuffs do happen for a reason nd that’s cos a better thing is on the way. I guess u sud start looking above blackberry nd have ur eyes on tabs. But for now, stay with ur nokia, u can never misplace it, I don’t know why but I guess my E71 gives me same feeling.

P.S: they are not unfortunate events, they are simply giving out to unknown people.
God will make u bigger my dear.

You’re jes careless jare **looking puzzled as the “Cool Story” thing he wanted to add to the comment is nowhere to be found**

lol. this is too funny. at this point, i will just give up on buying phones

starts to pray

Plz don’t use a fone again abeg ahnahn hw many

We are praying for you.

You’d make a good girlfriend.

No expensive shit on Vals day. No cake. You’ll misplace it.

Ohhh…no wonder your pings arnt goin through…sorry dear. Nufin lasts forever tho.. Ur not jazzd, its just a rapid occurance of the envitable…you were gonna lose it sooner or later… Its just sad it was sooner, cuz nw i av no1 special to chat wif again. So if there’s any pretty lady awt there, dat wld like to chat, here’s my pin 21d17003, p.s sorry kemi for usin ur blog to set p.

Loooooool be like me, stick to the cheapest wap enabled phone you can find hehe 😀 pele dear maybe God is preparing you 4 a madass gadget :*

CBS…

Very CSB……

aburo alas tis not only you that is afflicted wiv ephemeral smartphones. while i don’t lose ma smartphones, they don’t stay wiv me either. ma 8520, botched unlockin. had to send it back to the UK. iPhone somebody “augmented” it. my xperia, ma aunt borrowed it back and unknown assailants made away with it. as i save to buy a galaxy y pro, i’ve scheduled 3 days fastin and prayer @ MFM HQ. drastic measures are warranted, abi you don’t agree?

U̶̲̥̅̊ should be named world best careless gal..L̳̿Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇L̳̿ well I guess U̶̲̥̅̊ should get a rope and tie ur fone to ur dress.u’ll make a G̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡D̶̲̥̅ gf true true…na cheape U̶̲̥̅̊ go dey get.U̶̲̥̅̊ allergic to expensive things.sorry love.

… be losing these things in my vicinity abeg! I need them gaan!!

It is well wiv u IJN.guess u r careless,if I tell u some of ma stories,u’ll just laff.really,pray & make a conscious effort.(Don’t just stop making d effort,u’ll get bettr wiv time)

Laffs 4 days. =)). Knucklehead. :*

Everytime u lost a fone, u got a better one. I think that’s d moral of d story. Ur heading for d sky baybee.

*now fasting n praying*

[…] to announce that my blackberry is 10 months old. People that know me well and people that read Kemminy Snickets will know why this is […]

[…] struggleberry I’m getting me a new phone that costs less than 20,000 Naira. People that read Kemminy Snickets know […]

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