Kemmiiii's Blog

This Marriage Thing.

Posted on: November 17, 2012

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When will you marry? This year, next year, sometime or never; January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.
I remember singing this song at the top of my lungs whilst trying my best not to lose my jumping pattern and get caught by the jump rope.

I also remember playing Mummy and daddy at the backyard with my brothers: Bayonle and Bolaji and the neighbors from across the street: Gika and Chukwuma. I also remember when Chukwuma and Bolaji kissed –Lol. This is by the way.
The same Bolaji said he was gonna marry Toluwani who happened to be our cousin. So many memories.

Nowadays, everybody seems to be getting married. At least two ‘HMLs’ on my BBM every Saturday. Even those doing wedding in absentia (i.e either the bride or the groom is absent). A friend of mine got married recently and I started thinking about my life.

I’m not old or anything – I may be old sha- but I’m not old enough for marriage even though my mates in the north already have like 5 babies. My dad even said to the women in my church this one time that I can’t even have a boyfriend till I’m done with med school because they were all trying to set me up with their sons.
Every other Saturday, people get married, I don’t get invited, I still don’t have a boyfriend. Lol. Story for another day.

The people of twitter are quick to send the single ladies to get married. I wonder; is it that simple?

We all know that marriage Is supposed to be a sacred union between two people (of the opposite sex.. or not) who love and adore each other and have decided to spend the rest of their lives together and accept each other’s differences.
However, nowadays marriage appears to be a joke; more or less. It appears as if people just go into marriage for the sake of it or for the sake of the sheer grandeur of the wedding ceremony only to file for divorce 72 days after. #NoKardashian

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We are also aware of the high rate of divorce. A divorce where children are caught in the middle has to be the worst. I happen to be a victim of such a divorce. My parents got a divorce a really long while ago and I was pretty young. I was traumatized. I’m over it now; I’ve accepted that things happen for a reason and I’m reaping the only positive benefits of such occurrence; getting the things I need from both sides. Asides that, there’s really no fun in having divorced parents.

Right now, the conflict I have in my head is: ‘to get married or not?’

What if I don’t find the one that can make me happy? The one that can accept me and my many flaws? The one that I’ll go out of my way to please. What if? I really don’t want my children to go through what my brothers and I went through: having to choose a parent to live with, shuttling between mummy’s house and daddy’s house, having to understand that mummy and daddy just can’t live under the same roof for reasons you can’t understand and I don’t even want to go through the torture of explaining to such intricacies to glassy eyed children.

I remember watching the pilot season of Super Story of Suara and Abike and saying a secret prayer to Jesus so that my parents’ll end up like them. A child can dream. With the situation of things, such is not on the horizon and I’m not even bummed about it because I have pretty much gotten used to it and I’m in my happy place.

My point being; I don’t want to get married, eventually get a divorce and have my children end up like me.
I know God sent us to the world to be fruitful and multiply but What’s the point of multiplying and letting your seeds suffer? There’s really no point of bringing them to the world to make them unhappy.

With all that said, I hope I find said bone of my bones and don’t end up being the bitter old lady living down the street with 99 cats.

Really though, all I want is to be happy and I know that’s not too much to ask for.

What do you think?

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14 Responses to "This Marriage Thing."

We All Want To Marry And Get A Divorce The Next Day – Said Nobody

“Good things come to those who wait… But not to those who wait too long” –

Grover Washington Jr. (Just the two of us)

PS. Gaan Bleach fess.

I usually don’t comment on marriages and divorces. I have role models for both poles. So I observe, I’ll gain subjective knowledge when I’m married. That said, thought you’re a dog person? Read the 99 questions post. If you are, how come cats are the ones that made this post and not dogs.

Don’t mind me, I do not care for the feline. 🙂

LOL. ’99 cats’ is just a saying.
‘Kemi Windapo

Yup, I know. vixened old women who have become scornful of the world. The image flashed. I do not think you’ll qualify. but then again… 😡

KEMII! IF I CATCH YOU

*sighs*
I kinda believe divorce has got a link with ones ego, which one is expected to treat as an outsider who should not be allowed to rule or ruin ones marriage.
I also believe that if two ingredients are present in a marriage, then divorce is avoidable and these ingredients are Dedication and Selflessness

Mathematically, all I’m saying is that
Dedication + Selflessness – Ego = Blissful Marriage

Maf’s nuggets of wisdom. 👊

I’m never getting married. Finish.

Stop bugging ur little head about marriage,the men are coming,face school n be proud of ursef,in God’s tym.love n marriage wud come.dnt forget to be prayerful.

Love, wealth,prayerfulness,good behaviour,understanding all these can’t make a marriage work. Knowledge however is the key ingredient. When time is right for marriage, God will take care of it. For now, we’re to focus on developing ourselves. Marriage is a beautiful thing,d joy of offsprings that look like u is just indescribeable. But knowledge and timing,dats all to watch out for

I totally understand what you’re saying. I know a lot of single(divorced) parents and very few happy married couples. I just wonder how my own life will end up

food for tot

Think of it this way; Divorce lawyers have to fend for their families(lol… mind me not :D) Anyways, just cause your parents’ marriage didn’t end well doesn’t mean yours won’t. Life is all ’bout taking risks. Falling in love and marrying is one of ’em.

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