Kemmiiii's Blog

Things I learnt in 2012.

Posted on: December 31, 2012

2012 was on really short year and there I was thinking 2011 was short.

This was a year full of so many happenings that almost every moment was a Kodak moment.

In 2012, I learnt the following;

  • Never trust anyone that goes about telling people he didn’t have shoes. Suspect behaviour.
  • Never underestimate your talent. It comes naturally and someone somewhere will appreciate it.
  • Struggle! Struggle!! Struggle!!!
  • Chances are you are not your boo’s boo or better still your lover’s lover. Know your place today
  • In a conflict between your brain and you heart, follow you brain the heart wasn’t made for decision making anyways.
  • You don’t have to be alone to be lonely.
  • Don’t let insults get to you. This is one of the secrets of a happy life. Say my forehead is like a parking lot, I’d still smile with you.
  • In an exam, when you don’t know shingbain, don’t give up; just write what you know. Let it be confident rubbish. I’m a living testimony; I did it and it worked.
  • Happiness is the ultimate thing. If something/someone doesn’t make you happy, leave it.
  • D’banj = Modern Day Moses.
  • Milo isn’t truly the drink of future champions.

Wana

  • Don’t rub your happiness in other people’s faces.
  • There’s a limit to the number of ‘Amens’ a Nigerian president can say. Right? Jonah?
  • Reuben Abati’s job; defending the indefensible.
  • Masturbation is not a sin.
  • Nigerian pastors need jets to get closer to God.
  • Study! Study!! Study!!! = Bang! Bang!! Bang!!!
  • Music is medicine.

_Toks

  • The NBC is so clueless; be banning cool jams and shii and be overlooking the actually lewd songs.
  • The social caste system has no limits. Even on twitter we have the TBH twitter and LWKMD twitter. Where the TBH twitter claim upper class status.
  • In all your dealings, don’t be a learner.
  • Uppercut of Life.
  • Sarkodie Lied; Money na problem.
  • Most short people are chronically angry. Look around you; height issues.
  • Never diss Nigerians. Let the Ghanians relay their ordeal; all the black jokes that came after were killing!

Capture9_28_38

  • Never forget to ‘pass the mic!’
  • DKB.
  • Lowkey is the best key.
  • How Gullible people are: Power. Enter.
  • Familiarity really does breed contempt.
  • #Penetration.
  • Money Talks, Bullshit Walks. Thanks D’banj.
  • Fela remains the realest G. No one can take his place.

Nonso™(1)

  • Nudies. Never ever trust them with anyone.
  • Dammy Krane has to come to med school to see that O actually le re body.
  • Use words like Plebian and Umbrage. They make you sound cool.
  • When you’ve been involved in a twi-drama and you want to revamp your online persona, all you need do is to go on a hiatus, change your handle, bio and just act like nothing happened.
  • Side bros really don’t mind being side bros. They get the boyfriend perks without carrying out any boyfriend duties. #winning
  • Real Gs don’t make noise about being Real Gs
  • You have to know your selling point.

thor-prince-is-here

  • Fanta is the drink of champions. I don’t care what you guys think. All that Fanta bashing can’t faze me.
  • Sarcasm yato si stupidity.
  • If you ain’t giving it right, she’s gonna go elsewhere to get I right.
  • Twitter banter is incomplete without subs. In as much as subs make the banter fun, apply the
    @ button. @ a nigga today.

Capture9_3_10

  • Obama confidence > Confidence.
  • Never. Never. Add your mouth when lovers are fighting.
  • Twitter gets realer than real everyday.
  • Things change. People change. Everything is dynamic.

tumblr_ly48uoMRAl1r9mvk5o1_500

  • The elephant never forgets; so does twitter.
  • Side Chicks are underrated.
  • Dancing.
  • Bintin l’aye.
  • A cups. Love? They don’t get none
  • Our God has a sense of humor. Say what you mean when you’re making your requests.

Capture21_3_57

  • Set P with but don’t date anyone off twitter.
  • If you think it, It’s most likely gonna happen.
  • Those Mayans were either high on some really good trees or they were highly misunderstood.
  • EOL no dey look face.

Capture2_43_26

  • Nipple Check. Always. No one has time for wardrobe malfunctions.
  • When someone sends you a nudie, share it with everyone you know; it’s the only noble thing to do.
  • People living in Ikorodu and Festac are the real heroes.
  • About Expectations. Don’t expect too much.

ff

  • Never. I repeat. Never. Ever. Download a Tonto Song. My BIS went off after downloading one.
  • Oyedepo Slap < Bouncer Slap
  • Ikokore is the food of the gods.
  • Mushy couples become annoying when you’re single.
  • Twitter people despise certain things because certain ‘twitter gods’ despise said things. Get a mind of your own.
  • In everything you do, never be Pacquiaoed.
  • Being sleep/pacquiao is sometimes better than sticking to one side of the fence. You don’t need to have an opinion all the time.

Capture11_16_9

  • The single life isn’t as bad as it seems. Not all the time.
  • Self-confidence is key.
  • Smokers are liable to die young. My grandfather, a chain smoker for close to 45 years died at age 82; pretty young.
  • Nothing wrong with being humble.
  • Stupidity has no limits.
  • Trust Nobody. Not even yourself.
  • Overthinking has no benefits.

Yemi Kujorejhytr

  • Nothing remains hidden forever. There’s no secret under the sun.
  • You’d eventually get over your first love.
  • Don’t get carried away with instagram filters.

Terdohdd

  • Many new dances. Etighi. Azonto. Gangnam style. I only dance them in front of my mirror.
  • You need to whip out that ‘inner bitch’ sometimes.
  • Once in a while, observe chill;  have a chill pill.

Capture22_27_49

  • Nigerian Journalism is dead. Copy and Paste is the new journalism. That’s how some bloggers and some professional BC composers threw a BRT bus full of people into the Lagoon.
  • Dubbing pays off.
  • All fingers are really truly not equal. S/O to the Regulars and VIPs at this year’s Koko Concert. If  you know what I mean.
  • If you really have to photoshop please do it right.

Capture11_28_26

  • God provides for his own. Always.
  • It’s okay to judge. Sometimes.
  • Don’t assume. Asking questions really doesn’t hurt.
  • Any phone without internet access is a stone.
  • I really don’t wanna what Olliyu looks like if Davido’s girlfriend i really fresher than Olliyu

Capture8_50_30

  • In case of tweet jacking, the tweeter with the highest number of RTs is the real tweeter.
  • You haven’t arrived till you boyfriend starts giving you monthly allowance.
  • Really. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
  • Being fashionably late never goes out of style being on time doesn’t hurt either.
  • Even a week old fetus can have a net worth 100 times yours.
  • GEJ is to blame for everything. Did your beans burn? Yes. Blame him.

Yemi Kujore _ Black Distrikt™(1)

  • One minute equals one hour when you’re studying but when you’re having fun, time decides to ride in a gulfstream.
  • Always be thankful. No matter the situation.
  • Be attentive. When a guy says he wants your waist he really wants nothing but your waist. Someone give Yvonne Nelson a bear hug.
  • Nigerians shouldn’t be allowed to use photoshop. The ‘bad behavior’ pictures I saw this year ehn.

omdz

  • The difference between its and it’s. I’ve mixed them up my whole life.
  • Laziness pays off. In the present that is.

TheMainG_=)♊

  • #POKO# . Even though we dunno what it really means.

Just for kicks.

Toodles. x

PS. Now that I’m thinking about it, People that attended this year’s Koko Concert are the real heroes. Those in regular especially. 



 

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8 Responses to "Things I learnt in 2012."

Lol. U omitted the difference between “lose” and “loose”

Was cool …kept me busy 4 a while

Lol… Koko concert. Why were they vexing tho? VIP can’t be compared to regular. U want a preferential treatment, fly 1st class nd not economy. They should av vexed nd not trek rather than trekking nd vexing, no one sud be allowed to do the two cos u can’t eat ur cake nd have it. Do u like the koko??? Lmao!

Nd yes, journalism in nigeria, especially the so called popular blogs is ‘copy nd paste’ plus no real story. I mean, what’s d meaning of ‘Chris Brown pose with Wizkid in Lagos’. Is that news worthy?

See u nxt year dear, ama see saw.
See ya, cash ya, laera

Pretty awesome!
Loving the pics too!!!
Sarkodie actually lied oo….money na problem!

Lovely lovely post,hilarious too.nice end to the year#big-ups

Good read! Good read!!

very nice piece kemi. made me laugh and i could relate to some pointers. especially fanta. 🙂

#Fav: “Dammy Krane has to come to med school to see that O actually le re body.”

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