Crap! It’s Valentine’s Day Again!

Posted by: Kemmiiii on: February 8, 2013

• In: Things That Grind My Gears
• 3 Comments

First TTGMG post. It’s by my friend Fikayo; do check out her blog.

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Yeah……roll your eyes.
It’s that horrible time of the year, Valentines day. That horrible day when we all have to “love” and show it.
Here’s the thing; I love love. I mean, I’m in love with love and the idea of love.
Love is a perfect emotion.
Love means I never have to worry about my imperfections because despite the fact that you see them clearly you ignore them because even my imperfections couldn’t drive you away.
What I have a problem with is ***drumroll*** the stupid charade that is valentines day. And it’s not just for girls, it’s also for guys. Valentines day means guys in relationships have to spend…..no splash money that in most cases they don’t have. And girls especially single girls feel the need to get desperate.
I’m 20 years old and I’ve been single all my life. I’m not complaining. I love being single. I love that its just me, myself and I. I know it sounds sad but I love being single. Relationships are complicated and in most cases it means submission on my part and if you know me well enough you know I don’t do submission. So, I’m single and I love it.
Valentines day is the only day of the year when my being single becomes a problem. It’s not a problem for me, it’s a problem for my million friends, my parents and all other predatory guys I know. Suddenly everyone becomes concerned that I am ‘still’ single. Excuse me! All through the year you don’t say anything about my relationship status, infact you encourage me to be single and face my studies but suddenly you are worried on February 14 alone!

The only people who love/enjoy/look forward to valentines day are single guys and girls in relationships. Single guys because there are just enough desperate single ladies to have enough random meaningless sex for a night or two. Girls in relationships because they know they are getting to pull off the charade.
I’m not some crazy jealous girl sitting in her room alone ranting about valentines day…..no, I’m just saying, it’s just another day. It’s not your birthday or Jesus’s birthday so just calm down and stop trying so hard to live the crazy fantasy that society forces on us.
That being said, there are 2 major upsides to valentines day;
1. It’s nice to show some love. I have noticed that on valentines day, everyone is always a tad bit nicer and that’s amazing. Any excuse for people to be nice is acceptable.
And 2. This is one that probably only applies if you live in the UK, chocolate becomes effing cheap. And yes, I’m a greedy girl. On valentines day I stock up on chockies! Yes, I’m not a size 8(no surprises there) but I’m serious. I love chocolate (especially Cadbury’s Milk Tray) and anything that makes it cheaper, is fine with me. Last valentines day, the Thornton’s 12 in 1 pack which is usually sold at £12 a pack was retailing for £5. I bought 4 and I demolished them chockies like it was the end of the world. I think for the next 3 days after that my fart smelt like cocoa (this is where you scrunch up your face and say Too Much Information)

So my advice this valentines day (not that you asked for it) is simple;
Enjoy your day. If you are single be grateful! Better be single and safe than in a relationship and scared out of your mind. And remember good things come to those who wait, you might have to wait a while but it will come and it will be worth the wait.
Also ladies, you are the bone of someone’s bone. You just have to wait for the bone owner to come find his bone (if you read it aloud it doesn’t sound weird). And for the guys, single guys don’t be pervs on valentines day. Be respectful to all the ladies no matter how single and desperate. You might have a daughter someday. And for the guys in relationships…God knows I feel so sorry for you. Ask her what she wants and do your best to get it. And if she says she wants nothing, IT IS A LIE. Don’t fall for that female trick number 1. Get her something nice and smile.
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There you have it; Fikayo telling it as it is…
What do you think?

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Tags: Chocolate, Contribution, Love, Single, Valentine's Day