Kemmiiii's Blog

Archive for the ‘Med Diaries’ Category

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*Cuts Bullshit*

I know every time I go AWOL and on a long sabbatical hiatus, I always come back with a shitload of excuses and promise not to go AWOL on y’all again. This time around, I have no excuses. Maybe I do.

I hope you missed me! 😀

I hope you guys haven’t been missing out on Afoma’s blog. She has a new category called Med Talk. You should check it out if you haven’t. The girl is good. You know how education and internet are better in Ukraine and stoffs. I also hope you didn’t miss out on Lights out over at The Naked Convos

I don’t have a blogroll for nothing y’know?

Surgery Rotation is was ( In uncommon parlance, 500 level Leleyi – I’m in 500 level now guys!) the absolute worst. Even with the ongoing ASUU strike and the Doctors’ strikes that held, my entire being was managed to be frustrated to another world and back. Pediatric Surgery Unit especially; Seeing as they have two ward rounds in one day and they don’t dig latecomers.

Any which way, I made it through even though I didn’t have time to Twitter, Instagram or nothing. How I missed my twitter gist.

Surgery Rotation was nothing but a Signature whore house where the students are prostitutes, the surgeons are the clients and the Secretary Lady in the department of Surgery is the Madamme.

After each activity, the surgeons were meant are chased to ‘autograph’ our log books as a sign of attendance. Some were extremely selfish with their signatures and some others? Not so much. You know, the ‘unselfish’ ones had a higher fan base; Take Dr. @Sazzy_Wazzy for example, Coolest surgeon ever.

The attendance requirements (number of signatures required) were quite steep who woulda believed lazy ol’ me woulda made it. I can proudly say that my Surgery log book is almost the tenth wonder of the world, No weapon fashioned against my logbook shall prosper and No Adam can deter me from writing my finals.

All those fake smiles, Batting of eyelashes, hot chases (Some Surgeons live for the chase) and all what not finally paid off.

I also wanna thank Baba G for always leading me to the right place at the right time seeing as sometimes, I jake as much as 7 signatures in one night and anytime I’m not there, the doctor probably ‘autographed’ a signature or two. It’s probably my charm.

Inasmuch as the hustle for signatures was an adventure somewhat, I wish signatures were not my push factor for going to school. This signature prostitution gives the doctors too much power and puts them on a high horse.

Anywho, I think hope I have a holiday till the new year and I need something to take up my bag. Anything asides being my daddy’s handbag. Suggestions?

Feels good to be back.

How have y’all been?

Ciao!
xx

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*Peeps*

*Dodges rotten tomatoes and stuffs*

*Peeps again whilst donning million dollar smile* 😀

Hey Guys!

Shoot! Cobwebs! Darn it!

I know! I know! I went AWOL.

I won’t blame writers block this time around because I’m putting the blame on Medilag Student Affairs, Airtel, My sheer laziness and the new boo! Yes you! (Btw, stop reading my blog and you too Bolaji! Stop telling mummy everything you read on my blog. :*)

So how do they all come in?
Well, to blog I need Internet. So I blame Medilag student affairs for putting me in a room cubicle where the network/fresh air that manages to seep in is next to nothing. I Also Blame Airtel Ng for their crappy ass service. I just can’t port to MTN because Airtel is cheaper. I mean, I pay =N=1,500 for 2GB. My sheer laziness for making me lazy and the new boo for taking up my time (don’t stop!).

Well, while I was away, I wasn’t up to no good, I’ve been up to quite a lot (even though not award-worthy!); I picked up cooking. Now, I’m like a cooking monster. I google recipes and try them out and invested in kitchenware even though I don’t have a kitchen of my own. I just can’t wait till I have my own kitchen with all the top quality cookware and crockery. I now eat three times a day and I’ve since gained 5kg. Yay me!

My Obs&Gynae posting was over with and it was one hellluva posting! At a point, seeing pregnant women made me get sick to my stomach. Seeing fibroids and vaginas (excuse my French) made me feel even worse. There were just too many of them. I also got tired of seeing women in labor getting their vaginas torn with vicious looking scissors in the name of episiotomies. This made me consider elective caesarean section to birth all my 8 children.

‘Obs&Gynae was fun while it lasted.

I finished my (Internal) Medicine rotation on Friday and it was hellish yet fun! There was this “Medusa” of a consultant that eat time she sets her eyes on me, go limp like a boneless chicken instead of turning into stone. When she asks a question even if I have the faintest idea, I just look like groundnut and shake my head. I have since made some doctor friends and I’m extremely happy to be leaving medicine. I’ve had enough of ‘Medusa’. I’ll miss my medicine doctors though, most of them are a lot of fun. I learnt so much in medicine that I think I may start locum already.

Some other things also happened;

-I watched 9 complete seasons of Grey’s anatomy. I wonder why i wasn’t watching it earlier.

-Also watched 7 complete seasons of That 70s Show. Really Hilarious show. Gotta love Mila Kunis!

-Watched a documentary titled ‘The Real Story Of Nigeria‘ almost 10 times. If you haven’t seen it, you have to. Find out how great Nigeria was just so that you can be angry about where we are right now. #SadStuff

-Watched Damages and Political Animals too.

-I read Dan Brown’s Inferno & Stephen Chbosky’s ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’ Both books were awesome.

-I also picked up knitting. I’m currently knitting swaddling clothes for my unborn child. I’ll probably be able to knit more when I get my maternity leave.

-My Pops gave me a car back in April because I aced my exams and I’ve been learning to drive every weekend since then. I have since mastered parallel parking and reversing. I can drive from Lagos to Abuja in reverse. My only fear is driving on the freeway.

About my natural hair, It’s 8 months old already and it’s not growing as fast as I expected; but I’m patient. You know what they say about the patient dog that gets fat.
?

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Also, Bolu turned one on August the 27th and we hosted one helluva birthday party for her yesterday. She wore 16 dresses and cried all through.

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So you guys see, I’ve been up to quite a lot, Not just lazing around.

How have y’all been

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Hello Lovelies!

I haven’t been able to blog because school blows! I wonder why the seniors always say my present class is a lounging class. It’s one of three things;
1. I’m too lazy.
2. The seniors were over efficient.
3. The curriculum has been modified.

I’ll like to go with number 3.

In as much as I am lazy, I’m extremely willing to learn and with my daddy as my motivating factor, I have to know as many things as possible because pops and I are practically on the same turf now. It’s just a pity that he expected me to have been able to set an IV line all by myself. Only if he knew that things have changed. Medilag now is not the same as Medilag of the 80s.

I started my Junior Clerkship earlier last month with my Paediatrics rotation and I wrote my end of posting exam yesterday (June 6th). It was fine. Thanks for asking. I really hope to ace it because my scores now account for a percentage for my final year scores.

Pediatrics posting was long and difficult and my friends in other postings claimed to have it tougher. I really hope they’re wrong because I can’t imagine anything worse than that.

During a whole week of my Pediatrics rotation, My group was on call in the Children’s emergency room. We observed, clerked, Did Anthropometry, hung around and all but we didn’t smell a single signature. The emergency room is fun quite alright but how will I get signed up for exams if I don’t make the attendance? Ain’t nobody got time for going to school without getting signatures.

If not for the Doctor-Patient confidentiality, I would’ve shared many of the interesting cases I saw while in pediatrics.

Honestly, we should all be grateful for our lives. Now I know why people say that if you want to appreciate your life more, visit the hospital. It’s true; we just go about our daily activities like it’s nothing but some others are clinging to life with the help of machines and all sorts. It’s not that they sinned differently from us, they just turned out to be unfortunate.

Another thing is this illiteracy thing. I wish to elaborate about it in a different post.

Anyways, I was able to hustle as many signatures as possible even though I couldn’t make 75% of the expected which is required to sit for final year exams.

With Pediatrics done and dusted, I’m moving on to Obs & Gynae. The dreaded. We had our first lecture today (Friday the 7th) with the HOD being our first lecturer. It was a 3-hour long lecture but I enjoyed every bit of it. A humorous lecturer never goes wrong.

Let’s call him ‘Prof’. Prof gave us a lecture on ‘Unwanted Pregnancy, Unsafe Abortion, Gender, Gender Equity, Gender Equality, Abortion Law, Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights’. Such a mouthful. I can make a copy of my notes for you if you want. It was a very educative yet entertaining lecture with so many illustrations that had us reeling with laughter. Prof proved to be very knowledgeable and very in sync with the happenings of our time. He Kept on using such exclamations as ‘EZIOKWU!’ And ‘OMUNOLO’. At some point, he called someone a cannulated dog. The only downside of the lecture was that I couldn’t answer any of his questions correctly and he threatened to report me to my mummy.

So, during the lecture, Prof dropped so many side bars some of which I penned down and decided to share with you guys. Tell me what you think;

– Two basic activities as constant as the Northern Star in Medical Student’s Hostel since 1962; Reading and sex.

– Concerning Unprotected Sex, If you cannot be good, be careful.

– Only two sets of people are allowed to color riot; Children and musicians.

– Your socks should approximate the color of your trousers,

– Albert Mithuli was a South African Doctor and Author who wrote the book ‘ Let My People Go‘concerning the South African Apartheid. (Medical Students that gun for passes and not distinctions or credits are referred to as Albert Mithuli’

– In Igboland, A last born (only) son is more relevant and cherished than his elder sisters.

– It is the right of every woman to decide any pregnancy she carries to term but a Nigerian woman has no such right.

– People talk about Morality and Principles but act on self interest. As is the case of pastors who preach on the podium that abortion is murder and still present their daughters in the hospital for abortions because they can’t bear the shame and ridicule. (Reminds me of when they say you’re Pro-life until you get pregnant and an atheist until the plane is crash landing.)

– Nigerians take hook, line and sinker what they are told in church. Take what they learn in church and act under the guise of religion.

– A Nigerian pastor was banned from South Africa after he went on a crusade and told some HIV patients to throw away their anti-retrovirals for they were healed. They later died.

– Nigerians are so much ripped off that Pastors make them donate hard earned money to the founding of Church Colleges And Universities they can’t afford to send their children to. So sad.

– Nigerian boys are brought up to think that A Dinner date guarantees them sex.

– Mike Tyson acted like a Nigerian boy and paid for it dearly.

There was more but I couldn’t capture them all.

What do you guys think?

With that Said, I was placed in the Reproduction Medicine and Fertility Unit. I hope it turns out to be fun! Lets get some people pregnant!

PS. Thank you guys for egging me on to keep posting. Glad to know people are interested in reading about my rather drab experiences.

Special S/o to Eyimofe, Niro and @4eyednerd.

PPS. Medicine is turning out to be really interesting. Maybe I don’t need to get that shop in Balogun market after all!

Anthropometry- Measurement and study of the human body.
Omunolo- Power has gone off.

Hi Guys!
This is just me, All the way in ward D2, Tired, Hungry, Angry with associated waist pain. All that standing!

Whoever said Junior Clerkship was a lounging year told a really big lie because what I’m experiencing right now is far from lounging!

I’m starting with the rotation that people seem to find easy and I’m complaining like this… I don’t even want to get to Obs & Gynae or Surgery any time soon! Surgery especially!

I started my paediatrics posting last week Thursday and it hasn’t even been so much fun. I love babies and little children but seeing babies in obvious pain and holding on to life is so heartbreaking!

I wonder why innocent babies will come down with such horrible conditions.

In the span of 3 days, I have studied about, learnt and seen 5 pathologies I didn’t even learn about in pathology class!. This life.

Anywho, I have come to observe so many mummies that appeared to have taken up residence at their child’s bedside. Some of them don’t even have a change of clothes but they are always there. Praying, Pacing, Crying and Sitting in the most uncomfortable plastic chairs.

Tunde Kelani’s ‘Maami‘ comes to mind. It is a docu-drama about motherly love. Despite the horrible acting, it still brought me to tears. Even ‘Aftershock‘ and ‘Titanic‘ didn’t move me to tears. I’m not even stone hearted. Contrary to what Habeebah believes.

Nothing beats a mother’s love.

But when I thought about it, Father’s love may come off as cuter than mother’s love.

I watch as a widowed father cuddled his neonate to sleep. Loveliest thing I’ve seen in a while. The man looked sad and happy at the same time. I felt for him.

May we not have any cause to ditch the comfort of our homes to sit in uncomfortable hospital chairs. Amin.

Hey People + New Readers (I’ve been getting a whole lot of traffic lately; Heaven knows why).
I’ve been really lazy/broke of late and I’m just here being useless to myself and to my immediate environment. I also just got off my bed not too long ago (16:45) to get water to have a bath and I met a pretty girl at the tap. She told me she had read my blog. This reminded me that I had past time after all.

Well, you can’t blame me; I picked up scandal and I can’t become useful till I finish watching it. This has to be pretty soon because school officially starts on Thursday.

On Thursday, I start junior clerkship which lasts for 48weeks with rotations in Medicine, Surgery, Paediatrics, Obs & Gynae, Anesthesia, Psychiatry, Radiology and Ophthalmology. Apparently it’s gonna be a looooonnnnnggggg 4th year. So much for ‘lounging’. I’m not sure what rotation I’m starting with because the time table isn’t out yet. Not like I’m anxious to start but God knows i’ll like to start with Obs & Gynae and get it over with. Shii is tough and I need the spirit of ‘initial gra gra’ to get through it.

The next few weeks are posing to be long and difficult because they will most likely involve lectures, ward rounds, clinic sessions, grand rounds, theatre sessions, calls with associated tiredness to boot.

So yeah,
That’s my cool story.

P.s. I’m still torn between ending my education at the MB;BS level or pursuing a post graduate in Surgery or Obs & Gynae. Surgery has the upper hand already though. But what surgery exactly? I have no idea.

Maybe I’ll get a husband that’ll egg me on to become a specialist seeing as I gotta write countless papers to become one. Or better still become one of alike dangs’ concubines. Jk

Maybe I’ll specialize. Maybe I won’t.

Maybe I’ll write countless research papers and become a Professor. Maybe I won’t.

But, Prof. Kemi Windapo sounds good. Don’t you think?

What aspect of Medicine do you think suits me?

Have a nice week people!

Toodles!
xx

Whoop! Because BCS is finally over and Urgh! Because the exam is in Monday and I have to study for that.

Urgh! Again because it’s ‘relocation season’ in Medilag and this is one of the many ‘shits’ I hate the most. This is a really terrible time cuz there’s dirt everywhere and the whole of Medilag looks like a ‘Flood relief’ camp spin off. People are irritable and hoodlums are everywhere. This is the best time to misplace that your new blackberry z10 or even a bag of clothes. Nothing is too small.
I remember this same period last year, the dude that was painting my old room put my gold earrings and wristwatch in his pocket by mistake.

First of all, BCS. It was a wonderful experience to be quite honest, but I got tired of hearing the words ‘clerking’, ‘history’, ‘taking’, ‘general’, ‘physical’ and ‘examination’ to name a few because we practically learnt the same thing in every rotation just with some minor changes.

It has been a nice exposure to the clinics. Now I know what to expect from patients. When it comes to patients, there are many kinds of them; the angry, clueless, apathetic and the down right hilarious. My favorites happen to be the clueless and the down right hilarious ones. The hilarious ones most especially. If not for Doctor-Patient confidentiality, I would have told you about this 75 year old woman who could’ve passed for 50. That woman was nuts! Lol

With BCS over, it’s time for Junior posting; proper rotations and stuff! Can’t wait!

On to the hostel ish. The thing is that Medilag is a really small school and the school keeps on admitting students without putting the capacity of the hostel facilities into consideration. Classic case of biting more than one can chew. In a bid to cope with the increasing population, they’ve decided to increase the number of occupants in each room. For example, the room allocated to me is ideally a 2-man room but I have three roommates. This room is not bigger than a cupboard. Trust me. You can imagine my plight.

I’m not even happy at all.

To make things worse, I don’t even have a bunk to sleep on. Why? Because the previous occupants of my room claimed that there are no bunks in their new rooms because the previous occupants of their own rooms carried the bunks too. It’s a freaking vicious cycle.

Now, they’re trying to make us pay for bunks we’ve already paid for as part of our hostel fees! Total BS.

I’m tired! I’ve had the longest of days!

Hope you guys have an awesome weekend!
Toodles!
xx

PS. There’s a PTA meeting tomorrow. First of its kind. PTA in a university. They sent out texts to all parents to attend. My father just notified me of his intent to attend. Thank God I don’t ‘scam’ him. It has ended for all the scammers out there. Lol.

You see guys, I’m a blessed child. I have benefitted from God’s unmerited favor (Grace) times too many to number. Many things God blesses me with, I don’t deserve but still he keeps blessing me.

Today for instance, I finished early from my Pediatrics posting and a few group members and I set out to the Student Affairs office to apply for our new student IDs when we saw our very much sought after results being pasted. There and then, I lost absolute control of my mind and body! I went cold! Cold stiff! My mind was torn between waiting till the results were done being pasted to know my fate immediately or to pursue the ID thingy and comeback to know my fate. I went with the latter anyways. I got an ataxic gait sorta and someone would’ve thought I had stroke. I was hyperventilating like hell.

Anywho, I got the ID thingy over with and came back and set my mind to accept whatever the notice board had for me…

Immediately I got to the board, I checked the list of “Students that Satisfied the Examiner in all Subjects” I made the damn list guys! I satisfied the examiners guys! My God of part one physiology pros did not fail me! I didn’t even bother checking my grades, all that mattered was that I passed.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. I had my mind set on at least two resists. I turned to hug my friend, Teju who was already shedding tears of joy. We cried together. Ain’t nothing better than having your friends pass too. Your joy will be complete even if you don’t share the same matric number.

I called my daddy and my daddy’s words were; “I’m proud of you baby! That’s my doctor in the making!”. I called my ‘The Lover™’ (yes, I have a boo now) next and he couldn’t stop laughing because of how I was always lamenting to him how horribly I did in all my exams.

All in all, I had an awesome result by my own standards and I am indebted to God, My Friends, Boo, Family, You Guys (My Readers) for all the encouragement and support. I can’t appreciate y’all enough.

As happy as I am, My joy is not complete. Why? I have friends that have to retake one course or the other. Not because they deserve it or because they didn’t prepare well enough or because they are sinners but because everything happens for a reason and God has his plan and purpose for everyone! Some of them obviously prepared harder and prayed harder than I did but of course, God knows best!

I’m praying to God to grant them good success.

On the BCS front, I’m too souped to care!

I’m gonna be a doctor guys!
God willing!

I love you guys!
xx

God has transformed this Girl’s Lab Coat into a Clinical Coat! Check it out! Peep the happy face too;

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Most Images are 'borrowed' from Google Images. Others are from Twitter, BBM and Instagram. This'll last till I can lay my hands on Graphic Designing.