Kemmiiii's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Marriage

In 10 years, I’ll be nearing my third decade in life. I want to have achieved a lot. A lot of things of which I’m not sure yet. I’d probably be a senior resident on my way to becoming a consultant. Yes it’s feasible. I definitely want to work in a hospital like LUTH But when I think about all the strikes, wage disputes and all, I begin to reconsider. But one thing is for sure, I’m not gonna go straight from med school into my father’s hospital. I have to first of all explore the world on my own.

On the home front, I’d probably be married to Le love of my life when he finally surfaces. We should have had our two kids – two beautiful kids- by then. Come to think of it, if I have two kids before I hit thirty, I may not make consultancy early. Has to be one for one. It’ll all fall I’m place. Somehow.

Anywho, I just want to lead a happy balanced life; seeing as life is too short to be anything but happy.

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I didn’t realize this topic was on the list. ( ._.)
Oh well…

Seeing as I’m Not sure If I really want to get married, I haven’t considered this ‘dream wedding’ thing.

Point of note, Wedding is different from marriage. A Fairytale wedding does not guarantee a fairytale marriage. Just thought I should put that out there.

Every little girl dreamt up her Disney-like fairytale wedding/A fairytale wedding like Princess Diana’s or Stephanie Okereke’s. I wasn’t that little girl.

Hence, I can’t start telling you that I’ll be rocking a Vera Wang or the bridal colors will be red and orange or the flowers will be tulips and roses flown in from some faraway land and all that kind of stuff. I know people that have all that figured out.

The last wedding I witnessed and was fully involved in was my cousin Wunmi’s wedding in the summer of 2009. It was rather grand I must say and it must have cost a fortune. I wouldn’t want to put the people I love through all that Physical and financial stress. Lets just do it lowkey.

I just want to have a really small closed wedding where we can sell our pictures to People magazine, Bella Naija and the others. Lol. We’ll be cool like that.

I know many people say they want small classy weddings and end up having the largest crowd pulling Owambes. With the kind of Owambe-loving I come from, I know my wedding (if it ever happens) cannot be anything short of that.

Tell me about your own dream wedding.

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When will you marry? This year, next year, sometime or never; January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.
I remember singing this song at the top of my lungs whilst trying my best not to lose my jumping pattern and get caught by the jump rope.

I also remember playing Mummy and daddy at the backyard with my brothers: Bayonle and Bolaji and the neighbors from across the street: Gika and Chukwuma. I also remember when Chukwuma and Bolaji kissed –Lol. This is by the way.
The same Bolaji said he was gonna marry Toluwani who happened to be our cousin. So many memories.

Nowadays, everybody seems to be getting married. At least two ‘HMLs’ on my BBM every Saturday. Even those doing wedding in absentia (i.e either the bride or the groom is absent). A friend of mine got married recently and I started thinking about my life.

I’m not old or anything – I may be old sha- but I’m not old enough for marriage even though my mates in the north already have like 5 babies. My dad even said to the women in my church this one time that I can’t even have a boyfriend till I’m done with med school because they were all trying to set me up with their sons.
Every other Saturday, people get married, I don’t get invited, I still don’t have a boyfriend. Lol. Story for another day.

The people of twitter are quick to send the single ladies to get married. I wonder; is it that simple?

We all know that marriage Is supposed to be a sacred union between two people (of the opposite sex.. or not) who love and adore each other and have decided to spend the rest of their lives together and accept each other’s differences.
However, nowadays marriage appears to be a joke; more or less. It appears as if people just go into marriage for the sake of it or for the sake of the sheer grandeur of the wedding ceremony only to file for divorce 72 days after. #NoKardashian

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We are also aware of the high rate of divorce. A divorce where children are caught in the middle has to be the worst. I happen to be a victim of such a divorce. My parents got a divorce a really long while ago and I was pretty young. I was traumatized. I’m over it now; I’ve accepted that things happen for a reason and I’m reaping the only positive benefits of such occurrence; getting the things I need from both sides. Asides that, there’s really no fun in having divorced parents.

Right now, the conflict I have in my head is: ‘to get married or not?’

What if I don’t find the one that can make me happy? The one that can accept me and my many flaws? The one that I’ll go out of my way to please. What if? I really don’t want my children to go through what my brothers and I went through: having to choose a parent to live with, shuttling between mummy’s house and daddy’s house, having to understand that mummy and daddy just can’t live under the same roof for reasons you can’t understand and I don’t even want to go through the torture of explaining to such intricacies to glassy eyed children.

I remember watching the pilot season of Super Story of Suara and Abike and saying a secret prayer to Jesus so that my parents’ll end up like them. A child can dream. With the situation of things, such is not on the horizon and I’m not even bummed about it because I have pretty much gotten used to it and I’m in my happy place.

My point being; I don’t want to get married, eventually get a divorce and have my children end up like me.
I know God sent us to the world to be fruitful and multiply but What’s the point of multiplying and letting your seeds suffer? There’s really no point of bringing them to the world to make them unhappy.

With all that said, I hope I find said bone of my bones and don’t end up being the bitter old lady living down the street with 99 cats.

Really though, all I want is to be happy and I know that’s not too much to ask for.

What do you think?

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Most Images are 'borrowed' from Google Images. Others are from Twitter, BBM and Instagram. This'll last till I can lay my hands on Graphic Designing.