Kemmiiii's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Nigeria

My dear beloved,
For fear of being a bore and for avoidance of repetition, I refrained from reporting my trip to Esie in the State of Kwara(in Aregbesola’s parlance) in the last few days but for what I watched on a mid-week news Panorama on NTA! How I got watching the program was like ordained because in the first place I’m not a television person and if I must listen to news it will not be on NTA. Secondly It was an awkward time as I was supposed to be getting ready to go for Rotary fellowship.

I have made three trips to Kwara in the last one year and I did report one of them, the first that took me to Ijagbo Offa where PP Lai Abidoye buried his father-in-law. All the three trips were energy sapping as they were backache inducing for the roads that are in a terrible state of disrepair!
The second trip was to celebrate the 80th Birthday of my brother and friend Tunji’s father, Chief Oyeyipo who also prompted my third trip to celebrate his transition to glory and home going shortly before he clocked 81. With the announcement of his death in June,I started sharing that funny belief that 80th Birthday Celebrations serve as samples of funeral ceremonies with the exit of the Celebrant and in effect an assurance for a befitting burial. And hence, the Celebrant gets an earthly assurance for a Glorious Home Going. The home call is invariably a question of when. And usually before the next landmark birthday! Pa Oyeyipo got his call rather promptly!

With my experience of the first two trips , I tried to make a choice of the most advantageous route. Esie is just next to Ooro which in itself is along Ilorin-Jebba road. There are three options from Ibadan. The first and the longest is to go through Oyo, Ogbomoso and Ilorin. The other two routes pass through Oshogbo. The shortest now takes you through Ikirun, Okuku, Offa and AJase-Ipo. Unfortunately, the Kwara aspect of this route up to Ajase is a disaster! Rumour has it that the PDP government in Kwara refused to attend to the road as a way of dealing with the ACN-believing people of Offa! Politics of Vengeance! The third route is as “smooth” as the first but very long making it an Isrealites’ Journey! I’m a Nigerian making a pleasure trip, time is always of essence! It will take one through Oshogbo, Ora in the north eastern part of State of Osun and then Ekiti State and Ooro/Esie!
I settled for the shortest with my mind made up to contend with the rough stretch from Erin-Ile through Offa to Ajase-Ipo.

I’ve dealt with Lagos-Ibadan bit of this trip in a previous write up and nothing has changed to date. However, my ride from Ibadan towards Ife evoked a feeling of anger as I remembered the misnomer of awarding the contract for the expansion of the Ibadan-Sagamu half of Lagos-Ibadan expressway to the same inept contractor, RCC that performed the mess that Aregbesola Government is clearing now on Ibadan-Ife road!

Branching onto Gbongan-Oshogbo road, there are visible and palpable signs leaving no one in doubt that Aregbesola is there to work and is working! I wonder what the opponents have to say when his own campaign office gave way to road expansion within Oshobgo. It is all for the common good! The smoothness of the roads within the state of Oshun, a departure from the past, enhanced my enjoyment of the beautiful music filtering out of the Bose Hi Fi in my wagon and making the long trip generally enjoyable. I particularly enjoyed the messages of late Apala maestro, Ayinla Omowura. He eulogises and reminds me of the great contribution of General Mobolaji Johnson,rtd to Lagos state vis a vis rent edict of 1971. He does the same of Obasanjo in foiling the Dimka coup of February 13,1976 even with the loss of Muritala Mohammed! It is almost unbelievable that in this same Nigeria, a room had been rented for seven naira per month in Lagos! A subtle reminder of incredible naira devaluation over time!

The first sign of my entry into Kwara state was the presence of combined military and police checkpoints! A pleasant surprise however greeted me: all the gullies and rough spots of last year were gone. I started wondering what caused the communal strife that brought about the military presence. It dawned on me that this is another state being governed by a PDP Governor- a theatre of confusion!
From Offa to Ajase Ipo, it is the same old song of rough and dusty roads! Why is Offa, the second largest town in Kwara and host of a Federal Polytechnic, suffering this neglect? Rumour has it that its ordeal is political in origin. The people of Offa continue to associate with the Spirit of Awolowo, an anathema in PDP books and a thorn in its flesh, who had an able lieutenant in Olawoyin, an illustrious son of the soil. A recent court pronouncement for deposition of their ruling monarch, who is single-handedly transforming the town stucturally and creating jobs, may not be unconnected with this vengeance!
Politicians especially of Nigerian stock are superlatively vengeful. I heard Ikirun and Okuku suffered a similar fate in the hands of Governor Bisi Akande, the Chairman of ACN and leading promoter of APC, for not sharing AC ideology! Very unfortunate! One would have expected Oyinlola, however, to take care of Okuku, his home town, in his days but this was not to be. What a disappointment or disaster. This is why I will forever respect Aregbesola who has righted the wrongs of his predecessors of opposing or antagonistic ideologies! To me he is a great leader, a Ghandi of some sort! May Allah grant him long life in good health.

Ooro, the town through which you link Esie, is thinly populated but with an unbelievable skyline! I cannot understand the rationale behind the sighting of magnificent but empty buildings that are so notorious of the town! The owners are either taxi drivers or traders in building materials, wrist watches and clocks in Lagos, Portharcourt or Jos. These Ooro indigenes are very proud and sure of of taking care of any situation with their wealth and hence the cliche “owo ni o je” literarily meaning money will solve it. Esie on the other hand is known for its historical stature! It was in Esie that a whole village was magically transformed into stone! The relics to confirm this story are scattered all over the town and are also in the National Museum there located. I have a tendency to contest this assertion of magical transformation with the theory that there could have lived in that environment some great artist/ sculptors of some unknown civilization! Ephesus in Turkey came to mind! Up till now Archaeologists are still excavating parts of the town buried underground.

A former deputy governor of Kwara state, Pa Oyeyipo’s home going service attracted a large crowd with heavy presence of Kwara state government officials past and serving! I had a good time at the reception which paraded good music food and drinks a la all you can take!
Don’t ask me how and when I got back to Lagos on a weekend of Redeem/Nasfat/Mountain of Fire confusion!

I was still contemplating weather or not to do a write up on this trip when fate got me to the waiting room of my clinic where I was fascinated by this NTA news program showing a long queue of sycophants who went to sympathize with the first lady, Patience Jonathan on the loss of her mother! While I sympathize with her too, I’m reminded of the story of the mouse who frantically warned his colleagues of a looming disaster but was disregarded only to pay dearly for their apathy! That the old lady died in a fatal road traffic accident is an irony of fate? The Yorubas in their unparalleled wisdom have a saying, ” ko si arowa fun eni ti kile-kile pa iya re” with literary translation that there’s no need to pacify a person whose mother was killed by a roller(used for road compaction)! Is it that the roller is speeding or its noise is not enough? Death is a debt we all owe! How, when and where we’ll pay are the questions we cannot answer. But nobody wants to die violently or gruesomely. And this is why we all need to do good and be seen to be doing good especially when we are in the public glare. This is one of the key responsibilities that come with power and authority. Ineptitude in any form is an anathema.
The Jonathans have had and still have everything at their disposal to minimise road mishaps. It is most unfortunate that the worst roads in the country are the Federal roads most especially in the South-East, South-West and South-South except where the state Government takes it up! I’ve travelled far and wide enough to make this statement of fact!
A similar situation was witnessed when armed robbers laid siege on the nation some years back. It was not taken seriously until Iyabo Obasanjo’s convoy was attacked leading to the death of some innocent souls! This is an incident that the Adeifes will not forget in a hurry.
In my micro environment of Bariga sometime in 1995, I had taken the pain to warn the occupants of a building, where there was a deep well without a cover, of impending mishap. This warning remained unheeded until about a year later. A grandson of the landlord, came on holiday from the north, not used to the dangerous terrain, fell into the well and died!
This is a country where anything goes and people are not accountable for misdeeds and life means nothing. The landlord will rot in jail in some other climes!

I hope someone will drum it into Governor Ahmed of Kwara’s ears that the law of Karma is still in operation! Whatever goes round comes round! Like that proverbial mouse, I am warning of looming disasters and I pray that the price of apathy will not be too much for us to pay!

I am Windy. I have spoken and no regrets!

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A local travelogue!

Since I came back from my European tour about 3 weeks ago, I’ve been rescheduling a trip to base, Ibadan, for reasons. I have had to make up for my absence to my patients and with my able assistant and colleague, Omodara being indisposed , it is double trouble! Secondly and more importantly, the first weekend, and indeed any weekend nowadays, of any month on Lagos-Ibadan expressway is a nightmare for nuisances in the name of religion. Redeemers start the crises on Fridays, Fire Fire people continue the furor the following Saturday morning! Nasfat unleash their’s irregularly as if to spring surprises! And God is watching patiently from above!
All of a sudden, the Jonathan Government, haven dealt a deadly blow to Babalakin and his Bi-Courtney, announced the turning of the sod of expansion of the 35 year old death trap. I could imagine the kind of traffic to be encountered with a major road work. Not knowing that I was deceiving myself.

I could have continued to play the postponement game but for the stature Chief (Dr) Benjamin Abimbola Adigun, the Baba Ijo of St. Peter’s Anglican Church, Oluponna in the State of Osun, who invited me, a fellow Christ Youth Follower to his 80th Birthday Thanksgiving on Saturday, the 20th July 2013. He is a former ED of Agip and a foremost Actuary Guru taking seats on the boards of many Insurance and Finance companies! He deserves to be celebrated and off I went on Friday as advance party!

The weather was bright and reassuring when I left my “shop” only to find it drizzling on getting to Berger bridge. From there on, the rain was getting heavier with attendant increase in traffic. It was not heavy enough to hinder business at ‘kara’, the cattle market, constituting the first bottleneck at the ‘U’ turn. A dangerous spot that has recorded a good number of accidents!

Nothing has changed so far on the long bridge despite the palliative measures seen to be put up to free the bridge of flood. One wonders how come a bridge gets flooded! Does this in itself not mean danger to the strength and longevity of the bridge? With the rain coming down in torrents, the flood was unavoidable especially at the distal 300metres of the bridge. The slow moving 4-lane traffic had to merge into one! Shege! A ruthless malam driving a tanker, for whatever reason could not afford to queue behind the smaller vehicles, waded through the murky flood, splashing and spraying the screens of the lesser machines with impunity! We could only jeer at, abuse and curse the bastard as he sped past leaving many miserable.

Less than 2kilometers from the flood, this time, passing Prayer city, it was all dry and sunny! God is great! As I drove on I was watching out for Julius Berger’s men and earth-moving equipments. None was in sight! Can these people be serious at all? Are they yet to be mobilized despite the pomp and pageantry that attended the turning of the sod? I kept wondering.

To someone who has been on a highway in other climes where human lives are valued, ours are simply death traps! With unruly and crazy drivers, especially of commercial vehicles, speeding as if possessed by some blood thirsty demons, with no road signs nor speed limits nor caution, we are only surviving by the mercy and Grace of the Almighty God. I have been on Ohio Turnpike in the USA several times. Fantastic road that spans 200 miles! On it you can be viewing a 50 miles stretch and yet you are not allowed so speed beyond 70miles per hour(120k/hour) with all measures in place to enforce it. That is where there’s order!

I got to Sagamu intersection starving. Even if I wanted to resist it, that was too much not to pay homage at Ibukun Olu Canteen where hot pounded yam was waiting to be served from their kitchen, where the rhythmic sound of mortar and pestle left no one in doubt of the real thing.
Served with “egusi” soup and ‘ogunfe'(goat meat),It was a delightful meal for the day. A cold bottle of Heineken was just right to step it down and for the road!

Getting back on the expressway, I was still picking the stubborn ‘ogunfe’ strands from my ageing teeth when I saw the moderately decorated arena used for the turning of the sod, adjacent to the Abeokuta-Sagamu fly over. Nigeria and a culture of waste! Some millions of naira must have gone into preparing for the unnecessary, wasteful ceremony! I can understand Commissioning of a road project after completion! What if they don’t complete the project as many others? We are living witnesses to the colossal waste and embezzlement of public fund by Ogunlewe and Anenih through FERMA under Obasanjo, just a few years back, on this same road and the adjoining Sagamu-Benin expressway! It can happen only in Nigeria!

It is worrisome and sickening to learn that this expansion project will cost 168 billion naira, that is 1 billon per kilometer! Haba! This can only happen in Nigeria! The same country where there are 9 aircrafts in the Presidential Fleet and none as national carrier! Compared to the USA, which has the state of Texas alone almost the size of West Africa, and their most powerful president only has 2 planes serving him! It is only in Nigeria, where a half baked, semi illiterate wife(nothing first about her) of a lily-livered president will arrogate so much power to herself and call a whole state governor his son and also has the effrontery to take up arms against a world renowned academic and Nobel Laureate!
More intriguing is the Nigerian Democracy! All over the world, democracy is a game of numbers. It is only in Nigeria where a group of 16 claims victory and supremacy over a group of 19! As that is not enough, a group of 5 also claims Majority in a house of 18 members and brazenly attempted to impeach the Speaker! And of course, they got a raw deal for their impunity! Only here in Nigeria!

I was lost in thought and just driving until I got to Ogere trailer park! Another seat of absurdity! I have been driving on the American Highways in the last 16 years, I have not seen a single trailer park or rest area where there’s disorderliness! I ‘ve also been to other parts of the world and had a good feel of their highways too! It is only in Nigeria where parks are provided and trailer drivers arrogantly and flagrantly refuse to make use of the packs and the law enforcers are helpless!

The staggering cost of this project, I believe, must have been tagged to the exigency of the expansion this all important route that provides the link between Lagos and the hinterland and not the actual or a justifiable deal. I hope the cost includes putting in place measures to control the nuisances constituted by religious bodies and lawless trailer parks especially in Ogun state axis. This is the only way the road live up to being called an expressway which it was way back in the eighties.

These and other thoughts got me sick and tired as I drove on. I stopped to buy corn, a delicacy I cherish on such trips but could hardly eat as I ruminated over the type of country we’re in, the type of people we are and the level of injustice pervading the horizon unchallenged!
Are we going to continue like this? Wole Soyinka has lashed out again that the man dies in him who keeps quiet in the face of injustice!

At the Ibadan end of the highway, nothing spoke of the presence of RCC, the second contractor handling the Sagamu-Ibadan half of the highway, a firm known for ineptitude as demonstrated by the shoddy job it has been doing for ages on the second half of the dualisation of Ife-Ibadan road! ‘Ooni of the source’ is watching and I wonder whether the Olubuse has an atom of conscience seeing a company in which he has substantial interest endanger the lives of Nigerians including his own subjects, family and self!

All is not lost! I entered Ibadan to find a cleaner, more orderly city but still retaining its rusty roofs! Who ever thought Iwo road round about can wear its present look! Just as I congratulated Fashola when he cleaned, Oshodi, I will have to get across to my senior and brother, Senator Isiaka Abiola Ajimobi(SIAA) for a job well done!

Oluyole, here I come!

Ibadan, the home gallant and proud warriors! History has that of all Yoruba clans, Ibadan was the only one that survived and remained never vanquished during the Yoruba wars and hence the popular expression ‘Ogun o ko wa ri, omo Ibadan ki ‘se eru eni ko kan’.
Of importance to the world is the kind of leadership pattern that evolved from Ibadan. The Olubadan recognizes the achievement and contribution of individuals from various families and make them Mogajis to head their own family and rise through the ranks to the exalted position of the paramount ruler, the Olubadan of Ibadan land. This unique succession plan which can only be found in Rotary also reinforces the accomodating nature of the forefathers of Ibadan. Hardly can any son of Ibadan trace their origin four generations back without discovering that they actually hail from another town or village to settle in Ibadan for commerce or as warriors! For instance, the various families in Lalupon came from Ede, Iwo, Ejigbo and environs in the State of Osun as warriors during the Yoruba wars to fight on the side of Ibadan. They were settled in Lalupon by the then Basorun Ogunmola. This pattern can also be traced to the USA where you have Jews, Germans, Britons, French, Latinos and Africans!

I set out for Oluponna as early as 9.30 from my hotel room somewhere around Old Ife road. It was my first time in Oluponna and was shocked to find that there’s no boundary between it and Iwo. This rapid development can be associated with the transformation of the later into a University town. Bowen University, a product of the Nigerian Baptist Convention, serves a major landmark in finding your way to Oluponna. Directly opposite, you find all the major Bank branches.

Oluponna was agog to celebrate an illustrious son, perhaps first from the clan, who has done so much for the town bringing its name onto the world map. The reception for the event took place at the community centre built by the celebrant! The event, especially the church service attracted the high and mighty from the oil industry, acturies, finance world , politicians and Anglcan clergy. A high point of the event was recognition of dignitaries for thanksgiving. Another ugly side of Nigeria shot forth its head. Senator Omisore who came with a retinue of hangers on and security details and in an FGN registered vehicle almost caused a commotion as he strolled towards the altar and his supporters rose with those praise songs! Only in Nigeria can it happen! I recollected this guy won an election into the Senate while still being incarcerated for an alleged high profile murder case!

I left the party at 3 pm, even before the commencement of the reception program for fear of the much dreaded Lagos-Ibadan expressway on a day like Saturday! And guess what, I got to Lagos at 7.30 pm for a journey that shouldn’t have taken more than 2 hours! Fair enough you’ll say! And I will agree with you if it is only in Nigeria!

Windy
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Etisalat. Enjoy high speed mobile broadband on our easyblaze and plans for BlackBerry. Visit http://www.etisalat.com.ng for details.

Here’s another;

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Fellow Rotarians and loved ones,
Your various comments on and praises for my previous pieces are appreciated and serve as the tonic for this and future articles. Please enjoy.

As I took my seat in the almost empty Coach J of Virgin Train, a First Class coach courtesy of my friend of over 30 years and host, Ayodeji Osobu, on my return trip to London yesterday, I remembered that I slept all through my outward journey to Manchester on Friday. I decided to stay awake this time, to have a good look at the Country side. And that meant fighting off an almost inevitable nap consequent upon the hang over of an eventful Friday Night.

Beyond that, I am specially blessed with ease of falling asleep even in the noisiest environment and most awkward position. Glory be to God!

Manchester typifies the northern England cities with easy life, no hustle and bustle characteristic of London. With my experience in Harrogate, Leeds, Newcastle, Birmingham etc in the past, it is easy for me to make this conclusion. No wonder you find more of Nigerians in tangible professions making their living there leaving all the riff-raffs in London. A comparison of this situation with Lagos versus Ibadan and Abeokuta can only suffer on the basis of economic activities!
Trust Nigerians! There’s a joint called Roots in Central Manchester that serves “Ishiewu”, “Nwongwo”, “Shawa” among other Nigerian delicacies! That was our port of TGIF! Cold drinks, Beers and stout originating from Nigeria abound with Naija hip hop emanating from the juke box of a DJ with typical Ibo accent. Before I knew it, the joint transformed into a nite club by 12 midnight with influx of young men and ladies in “hot” dresses! As I watched all sorts of things happening inside and outside the joint, I couldn’t but wished to grow younger!
At my instance, we left the joint with a lot to talk about at about 3am.

Ayo lives at Imperial Point, a magnificent, beautiful. block of serviced apartments in Old Trafford overlooking a canal across which Manchester United Stadium stands out in what looks like an industrial area. “Old” because there’s a new Trafford that is closer to the city centre. The Old Trafford, I was told was originally occupied by shanties built by merchants and fishermen. Like it is happening at Ilubinrin in Lagos, Old tafford now houses magnificent buildings among which is The Imperial War Museum and industries with jetties along Salford Quays!

To keep me awake, I ordered for a cup of Cappuccino which was delivered promptly and with the typical courtesy of Virgin establishment. Just then, the train left platform 5 almost unnoticed. No noise, no jerk except the driver’s (mind you, they no longer call them engine drivers because they don’t operate locomotive engines)announcement and relative motion that accelerated to what I believe was between 120 and 140 kilometers per hour speed. I sipped the coffee with strong faith as the train sped on with so many things on through my mind while gazing, through the window at the beautiful and spectacular countryside!

The countryside reminded me of the exciting picture I had while in a similar electric train from Paris to Lille way back in 1978.
All the way from Manchester to London I could not see an expanse of land up to a plot that was left uncultivated except close to towns and villages. There are agricultural settlements all the way with various arable crops at various stages of development giving a beautiful jig saw of various colours! Those at the flowery stage giving red, yellow and pink, puple etc while those already harvested and withering off present brown and grey within the ubiquitous green also of various shades! Whao! What a scenery! There are also grazing portions for cattle and sheep!

Compared with the Lagos-Ibadan expressway, you will have to contend with the various Religious Camps and Trailer Parks with their attendant nuisances! Nigeria is fast becoming a country where there are more churches than factories and more Pastors than Managers!

Thick forests that harbour criminals also abound especially beyond Ibadan and Ijebu as you move into the hinterland! Nigeria was once described by a French diplomat friend of mine as a forest because that was all he saw from Lagos to Ibadan in 1977, just before the expressway was commissioned! I took him up, albeit with a baseless argument!
Visiting France a little later opened my eyes!
My little son, Bayonle was to corroborate, on a lighter mood, the Frenchman’s assertion in 1997, 20 years later! My father then kept this unusual pet, a crocodile! My son seeing it for the first time raced to tell me with a lot of excitement, ‘this Lalupon is a forest, daddy’ just for sighting a croc. I laughed my head off!

The train just went past Milton Keynes another quiet town, towards the north, about 30 minutes from London by rail maybe 1hour by road, when there was an SOS announcement for a doctor to come to the aid of a passenger in Coach C! Pronto, I was there to see a young man in his late 20s, most likely an Arab, complaining of palpitation and chest discomfort. He looked anxious, sweaty and somewhat distressed! His pulse was pounding and heart rate about 120 beats per minute. I threw some probing questions and in no time was able to arrive at a diagnosis of Drug- induced Tachycardia! The stupid boy had taken a powerful chinese aphrodisiac earlier in the day! He reminded me of the recklessness of the driver in Frankfurt! Is recklessness an arabian culture? I advised he be taken to the nearest hospital for detoxification with an antidote and intravenous fluids. Getting an ambulance to pick him up at the next station cost us extra 30 minutes.

As we got to London Euston station, I could count not less than ten other Virgin trains waiting to be boarded or discharging passengers! My mind now wandered to this ubiquitous company that has its hand in virtually every essential need of life and also making a success of it! From Virgin ‘tooth pick’ to Virgin Airline! Is there anything that Virgin does not do other than party politics? Virgin India, Virgin America, Virgin Atlantic, Virgin everywhere are success stories in the Aviation industry. My conclusion is that Richard Branson, the founder and CEO is an avid, incorruptible and diligent businessman who cherishes his integrity! In a conservative environment, he has built a large, reputable business empire. His withdrawal from Nigeria, perhaps his first sad story of failure, was not unconnected with CORRUPTION, an entropy that gives me palpitation and missed beats each time it crosses my mind! And it does so many times!

A man of immense means and vision and style, I heard, Richard Branson has an ISLAND to himself in the Pacific Ocean from where he will probably be smiling at the lot of Nigerians who are in a prison.
May I call on all of us to rise up and never get tired of trying to get out of our PRISON where there seems to be no doors or windows but only concrete walls and barbed wire fences.
Disasters are looming in our society and we all owe it a duty to. speak up and speak out! As Wole Soyinka warned us, “The man dies in him who keeps quiet in the face of injustice”. Corruption is the greatest injustice in our land converting it into a prison manned by vicious warders!

Happy Sunday to all and I wish the convention Goers an exciting time in Lisbon.

Windy.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Etisalat. Enjoy high speed mobile broadband on our easyblaze and plans for BlackBerry. Visit http://www.etisalat.com.ng for details.

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Hello Lovelies!

I haven’t been able to blog because school blows! I wonder why the seniors always say my present class is a lounging class. It’s one of three things;
1. I’m too lazy.
2. The seniors were over efficient.
3. The curriculum has been modified.

I’ll like to go with number 3.

In as much as I am lazy, I’m extremely willing to learn and with my daddy as my motivating factor, I have to know as many things as possible because pops and I are practically on the same turf now. It’s just a pity that he expected me to have been able to set an IV line all by myself. Only if he knew that things have changed. Medilag now is not the same as Medilag of the 80s.

I started my Junior Clerkship earlier last month with my Paediatrics rotation and I wrote my end of posting exam yesterday (June 6th). It was fine. Thanks for asking. I really hope to ace it because my scores now account for a percentage for my final year scores.

Pediatrics posting was long and difficult and my friends in other postings claimed to have it tougher. I really hope they’re wrong because I can’t imagine anything worse than that.

During a whole week of my Pediatrics rotation, My group was on call in the Children’s emergency room. We observed, clerked, Did Anthropometry, hung around and all but we didn’t smell a single signature. The emergency room is fun quite alright but how will I get signed up for exams if I don’t make the attendance? Ain’t nobody got time for going to school without getting signatures.

If not for the Doctor-Patient confidentiality, I would’ve shared many of the interesting cases I saw while in pediatrics.

Honestly, we should all be grateful for our lives. Now I know why people say that if you want to appreciate your life more, visit the hospital. It’s true; we just go about our daily activities like it’s nothing but some others are clinging to life with the help of machines and all sorts. It’s not that they sinned differently from us, they just turned out to be unfortunate.

Another thing is this illiteracy thing. I wish to elaborate about it in a different post.

Anyways, I was able to hustle as many signatures as possible even though I couldn’t make 75% of the expected which is required to sit for final year exams.

With Pediatrics done and dusted, I’m moving on to Obs & Gynae. The dreaded. We had our first lecture today (Friday the 7th) with the HOD being our first lecturer. It was a 3-hour long lecture but I enjoyed every bit of it. A humorous lecturer never goes wrong.

Let’s call him ‘Prof’. Prof gave us a lecture on ‘Unwanted Pregnancy, Unsafe Abortion, Gender, Gender Equity, Gender Equality, Abortion Law, Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights’. Such a mouthful. I can make a copy of my notes for you if you want. It was a very educative yet entertaining lecture with so many illustrations that had us reeling with laughter. Prof proved to be very knowledgeable and very in sync with the happenings of our time. He Kept on using such exclamations as ‘EZIOKWU!’ And ‘OMUNOLO’. At some point, he called someone a cannulated dog. The only downside of the lecture was that I couldn’t answer any of his questions correctly and he threatened to report me to my mummy.

So, during the lecture, Prof dropped so many side bars some of which I penned down and decided to share with you guys. Tell me what you think;

– Two basic activities as constant as the Northern Star in Medical Student’s Hostel since 1962; Reading and sex.

– Concerning Unprotected Sex, If you cannot be good, be careful.

– Only two sets of people are allowed to color riot; Children and musicians.

– Your socks should approximate the color of your trousers,

– Albert Mithuli was a South African Doctor and Author who wrote the book ‘ Let My People Go‘concerning the South African Apartheid. (Medical Students that gun for passes and not distinctions or credits are referred to as Albert Mithuli’

– In Igboland, A last born (only) son is more relevant and cherished than his elder sisters.

– It is the right of every woman to decide any pregnancy she carries to term but a Nigerian woman has no such right.

– People talk about Morality and Principles but act on self interest. As is the case of pastors who preach on the podium that abortion is murder and still present their daughters in the hospital for abortions because they can’t bear the shame and ridicule. (Reminds me of when they say you’re Pro-life until you get pregnant and an atheist until the plane is crash landing.)

– Nigerians take hook, line and sinker what they are told in church. Take what they learn in church and act under the guise of religion.

– A Nigerian pastor was banned from South Africa after he went on a crusade and told some HIV patients to throw away their anti-retrovirals for they were healed. They later died.

– Nigerians are so much ripped off that Pastors make them donate hard earned money to the founding of Church Colleges And Universities they can’t afford to send their children to. So sad.

– Nigerian boys are brought up to think that A Dinner date guarantees them sex.

– Mike Tyson acted like a Nigerian boy and paid for it dearly.

There was more but I couldn’t capture them all.

What do you guys think?

With that Said, I was placed in the Reproduction Medicine and Fertility Unit. I hope it turns out to be fun! Lets get some people pregnant!

PS. Thank you guys for egging me on to keep posting. Glad to know people are interested in reading about my rather drab experiences.

Special S/o to Eyimofe, Niro and @4eyednerd.

PPS. Medicine is turning out to be really interesting. Maybe I don’t need to get that shop in Balogun market after all!

Anthropometry- Measurement and study of the human body.
Omunolo- Power has gone off.

Whoop! Because BCS is finally over and Urgh! Because the exam is in Monday and I have to study for that.

Urgh! Again because it’s ‘relocation season’ in Medilag and this is one of the many ‘shits’ I hate the most. This is a really terrible time cuz there’s dirt everywhere and the whole of Medilag looks like a ‘Flood relief’ camp spin off. People are irritable and hoodlums are everywhere. This is the best time to misplace that your new blackberry z10 or even a bag of clothes. Nothing is too small.
I remember this same period last year, the dude that was painting my old room put my gold earrings and wristwatch in his pocket by mistake.

First of all, BCS. It was a wonderful experience to be quite honest, but I got tired of hearing the words ‘clerking’, ‘history’, ‘taking’, ‘general’, ‘physical’ and ‘examination’ to name a few because we practically learnt the same thing in every rotation just with some minor changes.

It has been a nice exposure to the clinics. Now I know what to expect from patients. When it comes to patients, there are many kinds of them; the angry, clueless, apathetic and the down right hilarious. My favorites happen to be the clueless and the down right hilarious ones. The hilarious ones most especially. If not for Doctor-Patient confidentiality, I would have told you about this 75 year old woman who could’ve passed for 50. That woman was nuts! Lol

With BCS over, it’s time for Junior posting; proper rotations and stuff! Can’t wait!

On to the hostel ish. The thing is that Medilag is a really small school and the school keeps on admitting students without putting the capacity of the hostel facilities into consideration. Classic case of biting more than one can chew. In a bid to cope with the increasing population, they’ve decided to increase the number of occupants in each room. For example, the room allocated to me is ideally a 2-man room but I have three roommates. This room is not bigger than a cupboard. Trust me. You can imagine my plight.

I’m not even happy at all.

To make things worse, I don’t even have a bunk to sleep on. Why? Because the previous occupants of my room claimed that there are no bunks in their new rooms because the previous occupants of their own rooms carried the bunks too. It’s a freaking vicious cycle.

Now, they’re trying to make us pay for bunks we’ve already paid for as part of our hostel fees! Total BS.

I’m tired! I’ve had the longest of days!

Hope you guys have an awesome weekend!
Toodles!
xx

PS. There’s a PTA meeting tomorrow. First of its kind. PTA in a university. They sent out texts to all parents to attend. My father just notified me of his intent to attend. Thank God I don’t ‘scam’ him. It has ended for all the scammers out there. Lol.

It’s important.  But not necessary beyond a certain level.
Let me explain;

If it was up to me, Education up to the SSCE level was going to be compulsory.  I believe the basic knowledge from Secondary School is enough for people going into non-professional occupations. What is the need of getting a university education and ending up on the factory line? No need.

To be totally honest, going to school is not for everybody; some people just don’t have the capacity and I don’t believe in flogging the living daylight out of them just to make them learn. If they had it in them, they will excel naturally. If you look at people that turn out to be the stereotypical ‘olodos’, you’ll notice that most of them have other talents. For example, there was this boy in my class back in secondary school. He was 22 by the time we were graduating.  Tell me if that makes any sense to you (Even though people say it’s never too late). This boy just made it through by ‘let my people go’ when he could’ve been somewhere rubbing shoulders with the RVPs or the Kanyes by now because he was a really good footballer and a good rapper too.

I know you’re tired of hearing this, but look at Albert Einstein that teachers called dumb. He’s a science great.

Richard Branson is dyslexic. He dropped out of high school.

Bill Gates.

Roman Abramovich is also a college dropout. He’s a billionaire.

Many daddies that didn’t see the four walls of any school but are learned enough and providing for their families sufficiently enough.

I can go on but I’d rather not.

Isn’t it finished when Phd holders can apply for a job to be a driver? After all that education, one will now be driving lorries up and down the interstate. That wasn’t the plan. The universities keep on churning out graduates (Legitimate ones plus the ones that cheated through/paid through in cash or kind) and there are no jobs for them. It’s sad to see a graduate becoming a cobbler. If I knew I was gonna end up as a cobbler I would have sat down patiently and learnt the trade with all my heart instead of wasting away in one University.

Even though it’s not my headache, When people say they’re studying things like Marine Biology or Physics I always wonder, where are you gonna work? Ota Farms?

Aren’t you convinced to drop out yet?

AH. Uncle Maf you haven’t dumped them Kaplans yet? Okay.

The ones that even amaze me are the ones that have already ‘made it’ and just decide to go to the University because they just want a degree like a degree is one fashion item. I cannot blame them though, it’s the Nigerian mentality.

If I didn’t gain admission into the University, I’d probably have gone to learn a trade. Maybe sewing. People are making it that way.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to fulfillment. Maybe fulfillment for one is to be carrying SSCE, BSc, MSc, LLb, FACE, BPharm all over the place with nothing to show.

It all depends on you.

 

Dyslexia. Impaired ability to learn to read.

2012 was on really short year and there I was thinking 2011 was short.

This was a year full of so many happenings that almost every moment was a Kodak moment.

In 2012, I learnt the following;

  • Never trust anyone that goes about telling people he didn’t have shoes. Suspect behaviour.
  • Never underestimate your talent. It comes naturally and someone somewhere will appreciate it.
  • Struggle! Struggle!! Struggle!!!
  • Chances are you are not your boo’s boo or better still your lover’s lover. Know your place today
  • In a conflict between your brain and you heart, follow you brain the heart wasn’t made for decision making anyways.
  • You don’t have to be alone to be lonely.
  • Don’t let insults get to you. This is one of the secrets of a happy life. Say my forehead is like a parking lot, I’d still smile with you.
  • In an exam, when you don’t know shingbain, don’t give up; just write what you know. Let it be confident rubbish. I’m a living testimony; I did it and it worked.
  • Happiness is the ultimate thing. If something/someone doesn’t make you happy, leave it.
  • D’banj = Modern Day Moses.
  • Milo isn’t truly the drink of future champions.

Wana

  • Don’t rub your happiness in other people’s faces.
  • There’s a limit to the number of ‘Amens’ a Nigerian president can say. Right? Jonah?
  • Reuben Abati’s job; defending the indefensible.
  • Masturbation is not a sin.
  • Nigerian pastors need jets to get closer to God.
  • Study! Study!! Study!!! = Bang! Bang!! Bang!!!
  • Music is medicine.

_Toks

  • The NBC is so clueless; be banning cool jams and shii and be overlooking the actually lewd songs.
  • The social caste system has no limits. Even on twitter we have the TBH twitter and LWKMD twitter. Where the TBH twitter claim upper class status.
  • In all your dealings, don’t be a learner.
  • Uppercut of Life.
  • Sarkodie Lied; Money na problem.
  • Most short people are chronically angry. Look around you; height issues.
  • Never diss Nigerians. Let the Ghanians relay their ordeal; all the black jokes that came after were killing!

Capture9_28_38

  • Never forget to ‘pass the mic!’
  • DKB.
  • Lowkey is the best key.
  • How Gullible people are: Power. Enter.
  • Familiarity really does breed contempt.
  • #Penetration.
  • Money Talks, Bullshit Walks. Thanks D’banj.
  • Fela remains the realest G. No one can take his place.

Nonso™(1)

  • Nudies. Never ever trust them with anyone.
  • Dammy Krane has to come to med school to see that O actually le re body.
  • Use words like Plebian and Umbrage. They make you sound cool.
  • When you’ve been involved in a twi-drama and you want to revamp your online persona, all you need do is to go on a hiatus, change your handle, bio and just act like nothing happened.
  • Side bros really don’t mind being side bros. They get the boyfriend perks without carrying out any boyfriend duties. #winning
  • Real Gs don’t make noise about being Real Gs
  • You have to know your selling point.

thor-prince-is-here

  • Fanta is the drink of champions. I don’t care what you guys think. All that Fanta bashing can’t faze me.
  • Sarcasm yato si stupidity.
  • If you ain’t giving it right, she’s gonna go elsewhere to get I right.
  • Twitter banter is incomplete without subs. In as much as subs make the banter fun, apply the
    @ button. @ a nigga today.

Capture9_3_10

  • Obama confidence > Confidence.
  • Never. Never. Add your mouth when lovers are fighting.
  • Twitter gets realer than real everyday.
  • Things change. People change. Everything is dynamic.

tumblr_ly48uoMRAl1r9mvk5o1_500

  • The elephant never forgets; so does twitter.
  • Side Chicks are underrated.
  • Dancing.
  • Bintin l’aye.
  • A cups. Love? They don’t get none
  • Our God has a sense of humor. Say what you mean when you’re making your requests.

Capture21_3_57

  • Set P with but don’t date anyone off twitter.
  • If you think it, It’s most likely gonna happen.
  • Those Mayans were either high on some really good trees or they were highly misunderstood.
  • EOL no dey look face.

Capture2_43_26

  • Nipple Check. Always. No one has time for wardrobe malfunctions.
  • When someone sends you a nudie, share it with everyone you know; it’s the only noble thing to do.
  • People living in Ikorodu and Festac are the real heroes.
  • About Expectations. Don’t expect too much.

ff

  • Never. I repeat. Never. Ever. Download a Tonto Song. My BIS went off after downloading one.
  • Oyedepo Slap < Bouncer Slap
  • Ikokore is the food of the gods.
  • Mushy couples become annoying when you’re single.
  • Twitter people despise certain things because certain ‘twitter gods’ despise said things. Get a mind of your own.
  • In everything you do, never be Pacquiaoed.
  • Being sleep/pacquiao is sometimes better than sticking to one side of the fence. You don’t need to have an opinion all the time.

Capture11_16_9

  • The single life isn’t as bad as it seems. Not all the time.
  • Self-confidence is key.
  • Smokers are liable to die young. My grandfather, a chain smoker for close to 45 years died at age 82; pretty young.
  • Nothing wrong with being humble.
  • Stupidity has no limits.
  • Trust Nobody. Not even yourself.
  • Overthinking has no benefits.

Yemi Kujorejhytr

  • Nothing remains hidden forever. There’s no secret under the sun.
  • You’d eventually get over your first love.
  • Don’t get carried away with instagram filters.

Terdohdd

  • Many new dances. Etighi. Azonto. Gangnam style. I only dance them in front of my mirror.
  • You need to whip out that ‘inner bitch’ sometimes.
  • Once in a while, observe chill;  have a chill pill.

Capture22_27_49

  • Nigerian Journalism is dead. Copy and Paste is the new journalism. That’s how some bloggers and some professional BC composers threw a BRT bus full of people into the Lagoon.
  • Dubbing pays off.
  • All fingers are really truly not equal. S/O to the Regulars and VIPs at this year’s Koko Concert. If  you know what I mean.
  • If you really have to photoshop please do it right.

Capture11_28_26

  • God provides for his own. Always.
  • It’s okay to judge. Sometimes.
  • Don’t assume. Asking questions really doesn’t hurt.
  • Any phone without internet access is a stone.
  • I really don’t wanna what Olliyu looks like if Davido’s girlfriend i really fresher than Olliyu

Capture8_50_30

  • In case of tweet jacking, the tweeter with the highest number of RTs is the real tweeter.
  • You haven’t arrived till you boyfriend starts giving you monthly allowance.
  • Really. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
  • Being fashionably late never goes out of style being on time doesn’t hurt either.
  • Even a week old fetus can have a net worth 100 times yours.
  • GEJ is to blame for everything. Did your beans burn? Yes. Blame him.

Yemi Kujore _ Black Distrikt™(1)

  • One minute equals one hour when you’re studying but when you’re having fun, time decides to ride in a gulfstream.
  • Always be thankful. No matter the situation.
  • Be attentive. When a guy says he wants your waist he really wants nothing but your waist. Someone give Yvonne Nelson a bear hug.
  • Nigerians shouldn’t be allowed to use photoshop. The ‘bad behavior’ pictures I saw this year ehn.

omdz

  • The difference between its and it’s. I’ve mixed them up my whole life.
  • Laziness pays off. In the present that is.

TheMainG_=)♊

  • #POKO# . Even though we dunno what it really means.

Just for kicks.

Toodles. x

PS. Now that I’m thinking about it, People that attended this year’s Koko Concert are the real heroes. Those in regular especially. 



 



    • Cecila: When shopping from the internet, a numerate of the great unwashed ofttimes take time to scan done a twosome of reviews on the merchandise ahead qual
    • cycatrx: Kem dela creame....... :d
    • bybaaaa: Lol. I just saw this thanks to oumissa. I love you. :*

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