Kemmiiii's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Twitter

2012 was on really short year and there I was thinking 2011 was short.

This was a year full of so many happenings that almost every moment was a Kodak moment.

In 2012, I learnt the following;

  • Never trust anyone that goes about telling people he didn’t have shoes. Suspect behaviour.
  • Never underestimate your talent. It comes naturally and someone somewhere will appreciate it.
  • Struggle! Struggle!! Struggle!!!
  • Chances are you are not your boo’s boo or better still your lover’s lover. Know your place today
  • In a conflict between your brain and you heart, follow you brain the heart wasn’t made for decision making anyways.
  • You don’t have to be alone to be lonely.
  • Don’t let insults get to you. This is one of the secrets of a happy life. Say my forehead is like a parking lot, I’d still smile with you.
  • In an exam, when you don’t know shingbain, don’t give up; just write what you know. Let it be confident rubbish. I’m a living testimony; I did it and it worked.
  • Happiness is the ultimate thing. If something/someone doesn’t make you happy, leave it.
  • D’banj = Modern Day Moses.
  • Milo isn’t truly the drink of future champions.

Wana

  • Don’t rub your happiness in other people’s faces.
  • There’s a limit to the number of ‘Amens’ a Nigerian president can say. Right? Jonah?
  • Reuben Abati’s job; defending the indefensible.
  • Masturbation is not a sin.
  • Nigerian pastors need jets to get closer to God.
  • Study! Study!! Study!!! = Bang! Bang!! Bang!!!
  • Music is medicine.

_Toks

  • The NBC is so clueless; be banning cool jams and shii and be overlooking the actually lewd songs.
  • The social caste system has no limits. Even on twitter we have the TBH twitter and LWKMD twitter. Where the TBH twitter claim upper class status.
  • In all your dealings, don’t be a learner.
  • Uppercut of Life.
  • Sarkodie Lied; Money na problem.
  • Most short people are chronically angry. Look around you; height issues.
  • Never diss Nigerians. Let the Ghanians relay their ordeal; all the black jokes that came after were killing!

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  • Never forget to ‘pass the mic!’
  • DKB.
  • Lowkey is the best key.
  • How Gullible people are: Power. Enter.
  • Familiarity really does breed contempt.
  • #Penetration.
  • Money Talks, Bullshit Walks. Thanks D’banj.
  • Fela remains the realest G. No one can take his place.

Nonso™(1)

  • Nudies. Never ever trust them with anyone.
  • Dammy Krane has to come to med school to see that O actually le re body.
  • Use words like Plebian and Umbrage. They make you sound cool.
  • When you’ve been involved in a twi-drama and you want to revamp your online persona, all you need do is to go on a hiatus, change your handle, bio and just act like nothing happened.
  • Side bros really don’t mind being side bros. They get the boyfriend perks without carrying out any boyfriend duties. #winning
  • Real Gs don’t make noise about being Real Gs
  • You have to know your selling point.

thor-prince-is-here

  • Fanta is the drink of champions. I don’t care what you guys think. All that Fanta bashing can’t faze me.
  • Sarcasm yato si stupidity.
  • If you ain’t giving it right, she’s gonna go elsewhere to get I right.
  • Twitter banter is incomplete without subs. In as much as subs make the banter fun, apply the
    @ button. @ a nigga today.

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  • Obama confidence > Confidence.
  • Never. Never. Add your mouth when lovers are fighting.
  • Twitter gets realer than real everyday.
  • Things change. People change. Everything is dynamic.

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  • The elephant never forgets; so does twitter.
  • Side Chicks are underrated.
  • Dancing.
  • Bintin l’aye.
  • A cups. Love? They don’t get none
  • Our God has a sense of humor. Say what you mean when you’re making your requests.

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  • Set P with but don’t date anyone off twitter.
  • If you think it, It’s most likely gonna happen.
  • Those Mayans were either high on some really good trees or they were highly misunderstood.
  • EOL no dey look face.

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  • Nipple Check. Always. No one has time for wardrobe malfunctions.
  • When someone sends you a nudie, share it with everyone you know; it’s the only noble thing to do.
  • People living in Ikorodu and Festac are the real heroes.
  • About Expectations. Don’t expect too much.

ff

  • Never. I repeat. Never. Ever. Download a Tonto Song. My BIS went off after downloading one.
  • Oyedepo Slap < Bouncer Slap
  • Ikokore is the food of the gods.
  • Mushy couples become annoying when you’re single.
  • Twitter people despise certain things because certain ‘twitter gods’ despise said things. Get a mind of your own.
  • In everything you do, never be Pacquiaoed.
  • Being sleep/pacquiao is sometimes better than sticking to one side of the fence. You don’t need to have an opinion all the time.

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  • The single life isn’t as bad as it seems. Not all the time.
  • Self-confidence is key.
  • Smokers are liable to die young. My grandfather, a chain smoker for close to 45 years died at age 82; pretty young.
  • Nothing wrong with being humble.
  • Stupidity has no limits.
  • Trust Nobody. Not even yourself.
  • Overthinking has no benefits.

Yemi Kujorejhytr

  • Nothing remains hidden forever. There’s no secret under the sun.
  • You’d eventually get over your first love.
  • Don’t get carried away with instagram filters.

Terdohdd

  • Many new dances. Etighi. Azonto. Gangnam style. I only dance them in front of my mirror.
  • You need to whip out that ‘inner bitch’ sometimes.
  • Once in a while, observe chill;  have a chill pill.

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  • Nigerian Journalism is dead. Copy and Paste is the new journalism. That’s how some bloggers and some professional BC composers threw a BRT bus full of people into the Lagoon.
  • Dubbing pays off.
  • All fingers are really truly not equal. S/O to the Regulars and VIPs at this year’s Koko Concert. If  you know what I mean.
  • If you really have to photoshop please do it right.

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  • God provides for his own. Always.
  • It’s okay to judge. Sometimes.
  • Don’t assume. Asking questions really doesn’t hurt.
  • Any phone without internet access is a stone.
  • I really don’t wanna what Olliyu looks like if Davido’s girlfriend i really fresher than Olliyu

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  • In case of tweet jacking, the tweeter with the highest number of RTs is the real tweeter.
  • You haven’t arrived till you boyfriend starts giving you monthly allowance.
  • Really. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
  • Being fashionably late never goes out of style being on time doesn’t hurt either.
  • Even a week old fetus can have a net worth 100 times yours.
  • GEJ is to blame for everything. Did your beans burn? Yes. Blame him.

Yemi Kujore _ Black Distrikt™(1)

  • One minute equals one hour when you’re studying but when you’re having fun, time decides to ride in a gulfstream.
  • Always be thankful. No matter the situation.
  • Be attentive. When a guy says he wants your waist he really wants nothing but your waist. Someone give Yvonne Nelson a bear hug.
  • Nigerians shouldn’t be allowed to use photoshop. The ‘bad behavior’ pictures I saw this year ehn.

omdz

  • The difference between its and it’s. I’ve mixed them up my whole life.
  • Laziness pays off. In the present that is.

TheMainG_=)♊

  • #POKO# . Even though we dunno what it really means.

Just for kicks.

Toodles. x

PS. Now that I’m thinking about it, People that attended this year’s Koko Concert are the real heroes. Those in regular especially. 



 

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Ad-dic-tion (noun)

1. The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing or activity.

2.  Abnormally strong craving.

I’m an addiction hoe or should I say I’m a really dynamic person.
Today, I can go crazy for something then after a while I won’t even be fazed the next time I come across this thing I was going crazy for.

My current addiction is meat pie from Alhaja’s shop – Alhaja’s shop is somewhere in my school where snacks, drinks and other miscellaneous stuff are sold. I almost can’t go a day without it, even on the brokest of days.

Before I got hooked on meat pie, I was addicted to PK (bubble gum) and this addiction stayed the longest and it cost me quite a lot.
At a point, the owner of the Kiosk in front of my hostel (Uncle Wale) refused to sell any more PK to me.
Imagine; on top my own money and teeth.
I was trying to rekindle my love for PK and I  borrowed my friend’s PK while she was sleeping. My filling fell out like the PK was jazzed.
Talk about repercussion.
That won’t stop me from borrowing more gum though.

There was a time I couldn’t go a day without Capri-Sonne, And many other things like Cway peach, vimto, Donuts, Gala et al.
Notice how much my addictions hover around food. I’m such a foodie; they can use food to carry me away.
Its still a mystery how I eat so much and I remain as skinny as ever. It must be the ‘winshes’; I appreciate it tho because people pray to eat and not get fat.

Asides food, I was once addicted to twitter; my tweetdeck and gravity apps did not help matters. I wasn’t your average Timeline flooder. I’m talking 16 tweets in a row flooding. People found it hard to believe that I was in medical school. Even when I was humbled to a Nokia C1-01, my addiction was unwavered.
Just like I got over my facebook addiction, I’m over twitter now but not to the extent of deleting my account. I still have to be in the know; Twitter dramas make me happy.

I always have a high affinity for some songs too. My past addictions are too many to enumerate but in my recent past, I’ve had We are young by the ‘Indie rock group’; fun which was quickly overshadowed by May D’s Ile Ijo.
Now, I can’t go a day without anything from Blackmagic.

That’s me! The dynamic one.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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Hmm. Meaning of my blog name.

My Blog name is Kemmiiii’s Blog. I know; I can’t be more obvious.
I am Kemi/Kemmiiii and this Is my blog. That’s logic.

Why Kemmiiii with the double ‘m’ and four ‘i’s people always ask when I give them my blog link. Well, its because of the struggle to be cool. The ‘kemmiiii’ blog name stemmed from my twitter handle which was @Kemmiiii at the time I opened the blog. I go by @TheLazyMedic now; Kemmiiii was becoming too cliche. Anytime I meet people, they always go; ” O! Kemi with the so many ‘i’s”. Yeah. I don’t want any more of that.

The struggle didn’t start from the @Kemmiiii handle tho. I started out as @Ojularioreodenu in 2009 because twitter told me @KemiWindapo was already taken and the two other Kemi Windapos in this world do not even go by Kemi Windapo. O ya mi l’enu.

Anywho, When I started tweeting actively, @Ojularioreodenu seemed like a mouthful and too out of place so I tried out @KemiWindapo again and luckily for me, it was no longer taken.
At a point, @KemiWindapo felt as if I was putting myself out there so i changed once again. @MsKemmii seemed cool because everybody had the Mr/Ms prefix so that lasted a while.

Later, I felt; Which kain @MsKemmii? Let me just be @Kemi. But there was already an @Kemi who wasn’t even tweeting actively so I reported the account as spam but that didn’t cut it so I tried @Kemii, @Kemmii, @Kemmiii and so many other random combinations.
I tried @Kemmiiii out of frustration. Alas! it was available! Success!

So you see, My blog name has no meaning behind it; Just a really cool story.

Cool story huh?

Y’all can agree with me that the year 2011 lasted less than a month! Cuz swear down; 1/1/11 was just like yesterday. No?

2011 for me, started on quite a sour note; My first break up. My very first year in Med School. I was too ecstatic to start school; right now,I wish year 2015 could just be equal to year 2012. Just Basic Medical Sciences and I’m already tired. I wonder what will happen when I get to the clinics.

All in all, 2011 turned out to be a good year for me. I lost my wallet twice, lost my phone and other personal stuff I can’t divulge here…Let’s just pray for a better 2012

I was gonna do lists like….The highs of 2011…Flops of 2011.. Music and stuff but Im too lazy. I’m gonna write on the things I learnt in 2011. Enjoy J

  • Nobody ever seems to believe the saying that what you don’t know cannot kill you.
  • Twitter hype is not it. See what happened to ELI. People that were tweeting and retweeting. How many people showed up for the show? Or the songs that I wasted MBs to download and the songs turned out to be *bleh* -_-
  • You people that were claiming “I’m voting for GEJ and not PDP” can you see yourselves now?
  • Tonto Dikeh’z zide eye reignz supreme
  • Never Trust a tailor.
  • Anybody can rap o! Look see; “Only MC with the MB! BS!” #Sweggggg
  • T go for ‘Koko concept’ and ‘Redeem Unpluck’ is a must.
  • Truly. Age is just a number. See Mazi Oracle
  • Singing nonsense can take you places. Like D’banj said; “you don’t have to make sense” And D’banj made no sense. But guess who’s living the G.O.O.D life.
  • You don’t need pubic hair to make babies. Wizkid can tell you his story.
  • How to know you’re a twitter celeb; People write poems for follow backs;          “Roses are redYour hair is purple I will do anything for you Just follow me back”
  • Yes. Its that bad.
  • 14 years!!!!
  • Being a Unilag girl is not easy. The Stereotyping + Generalization is too much. Thank God I’m a Medilag girl

    See?

  • Anyone that advices you to study medicine doesn’t love you.
  • Eveything is now sexual
  • Ugwu Leaves >>>>>>>>>>> 
  • Tears now come in the shredded form. You can treat this by drinking Orange Jews. I wonder what Orange Jews taste like
  • Being an Ibadan Indigene is not easy. We always take the Jabs. Especially Ibadan girls (=^_^=).
  • Someone somewhere is always forming a BC. A New year BC is coming your way.
  • Don’t be with someone you cannot laugh and joke with. Laughter is the best medicine.
  • Twitter remains a serious issue. You are your tweets no matter how much you deny it. 
  • If you’re a Med Student, Never let your lecturer know that your father is a doctor. The famz will be too great. That is how many anatomy HOD called my father when I failed my CA.
  • Haters are always gonn’ hate
  • Live your life while you can. Don’t have to wish you did something while you had the chance. I wish I had more fun in year 1.
  • Leave before you are left.
  • Your DMs are not so safe. Keep your naked pictures of twitter.
  • There are too many talented Nigerian youth. I wish I could do something with my hands.  What is your talent?
  • Don’t sleep with another girl’s boyfriend. Na ata gigun get you oo!
  • It’s a crime to be fat and ugly. People are too insensitive. Don’t call them fat; call them heavy boned. Don’t call them ugly; call them tending towards the unfine axis.
  • You can be a cool virgin. See the toxic virgin.
  • There are still some good Nigerians. I forgot my wallet on a bus and a kind man brought it to my school for me.
  • There are P setters and there are P setters. There are P setters. The actual P setters don’t make noise about setting P. I know this
  • Weed over Alcohol any day. Alcohol can get you into trouble. Weed makes you stupid. I prefer stupid.
  • If you ever have to get married. Don’t rush things. I know why I’m saying this. *cough* Mer *cough* see *cough* John *cough* Doe. I did not mention names o!
  • People can claim!! Even somebody living in Epe will be complaining about the Lekki toll gate.
  • Festac is a country on its own – Farstac
  • Don’t be a weist 
  • Twitter is not just for setting P. See what happened to D’banj or Odinabarbie or Tweetoracle – He was offered 3 million naira for his twitter account. Don’t put chewing gum in your eyes people are making a living off witter.
  • Fela lives forever! He’s a bawse like that.
  • What did we learn from G/Qadhafi tho?  
  • Don’t blame Boko Haram. Why can’t our government give us good security?
  • If you have to steal your daddy’s credit. Steal wisely.
  • You can never be too stupid. See Vic O vs Speed Darlingtion – Battle of the stupids. We await Vic’s new album. The Murder Fuckers.
  • I am a bloody addict
  • This just came in….To get HIV all you need is 12 thrusts

I learnt many more things sha. What did you learn in 2011??

PS. This is obviously my last post in 2011. I want to say thank you to all of my awesome readers and supporters. Y’all made my 2011. Hope to see you all in 2012. Hope you had a blissful 2011. Hope your 2012 will be more bliss filled.

Im also looking for guest writers o!! Inbox me @ bolawindapo@yahoo.com No spam please.

Thank you for coming and please share your thoughts and don’t forget to feel your boobies! I love you all!!

Keezez!!

“Since long time i never write new post..Since long time I never write new post. Many of you go dey wonder why your geh never write new post! I just dey looku and laffu..I just dey looku and laafu!! I dey look and laff! I dey look and laff!!”

                                                                                                                                                 -Merix of Fela’s  I Laugh’

Don’t let me deceive you…Apart from looking and laughing, No inspiration! Plus laziness!! Plus I‘ve been so busy!! You know na? Med school (Exams and shyt) Plus Dadddy’s birthday Plus silly guests 😦 and all!! So pretty busy.

Since the event of Med Diary (4), My wordpress mentor <_< Warned me not  to post anything If I have nothing to post about. He also warned me about too many guest writers; People want to see me write. To be factual, I really don’t know how to write about anything apart from my journals and people seem to respond well to my Journals and Med Diaries. So I guess I’ll stick to those. It’s my blog right? The baba is strict sef! When I wanted to use exam as an excuse for my laziness, The baba did not gree o! He said I have to be committed!! *God Help Me* I love him tho!! I’m sure you want to know who he is…Aproko will not kee you!!

People have been bugging me for a new Med Diary. But my life is not that interesting na?? This is not even a Med Diary. Hello?? 4.5?? Its just me apologising for Med Diary (4).

PAUZEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

As I was trying to type this ish! I noticed somethingOn my Time_ine #withanl….Subs were flying all over the place and I was like this should be interesting..what has happened again?? Before I could say AH! PHCN did the deed!! I was sad!! They sure know how to make somebody carry last. But never will I carry last  in that kind of thing. GOD FORBID

Without wasting time, I found my C1-01 Launched my Opera Mini Brower and searched for #withanL…Just so I could be in the know. rather than asking stupid questions like a last carrier that I am. So I got the inside scoop.

If you’re here to know what happened, or you are looking for some kind of controversy or for a funny story,  I’m sorry but you are in the wrong place *sweeps you away with ugwu leaves*

The only thing I learnt from this is that you should not put your private life out there. Whatever happens in your private life should stay there. You should learn from it too.

Even though I blog about my personal life, I try as much as possible to keep my ‘private’ life out of it.

Its really amazing how the Citizens of Twitville are so interested in Blogsville now because of the recent Brouhahas! It has been fun tho! Starting from the Twitter Celebs to the Virgin Boy… They obviously left the people wanting more. I found this on my Timeline.

The people of Twitville are actually enjoying these Uprisings.

In case you missed the Blogsville drama, I aint giving out no links :p I have been too nice to ye last carriers!! Do your own homework!! If you want the links tho say it and you will pay :D..Hehe! Blogsville is the shinzit!!

I don’t have much to say about the Celeb post but I really had fun going through the comments!! Almost 1000 comments!! Who does this?? GothPrince why you noo come write for me? Some people built houses there..People advertising shoes and all..Im sure you would have made a fortune selling Gala and La Casera in there. It was some really serious ish!! Some other people were just joking around and the Voltrons and Victims (people that did not get follow backs) doing their thing.

I noticed that the people of twitville are’nt really interested in blogville unless a post has something about twitter in it. i know this because my two posts Anatomy of a Twitfight and #NIGERIANTWITTER are my most viewed posts till date. But in recent times, they seem to be everywhere. Waiting for a controversy.

Did you read The Encore to that Celeb post? I was with Goth Prince on that one. The points he gave for why twitter is serious were so on point and I loved it.

Should I still title this Med Diary 4.5?? O well.

Moving on..*changes gear*

The Virgin Boy…People pretty much missed his point. I felt his point was that You can be a virgin and still be cool. Taking him for example. People just turned the simple message upside down. They must sha see the flip side of everything !*sigh* Some people were even like why should he tell us that he is a virgin?? OK. He can’t tell us that he is a virgin but its okay to write about your sexcapades?? it is well. In another light, It’s his blog, It’s his life so why do you even care? If you dictate what you want him to write, It’s no longer his blog.

Blog: an online diary. So you can do whatever you like with your blog and there are different types of blogs out there…From the blogs with serious Life lessons, To the Sex  blogs, To the Funny as hell, To the Relationship blogs, To the down right Crazy, The Poets, The inspirational ones, The religious ones, The political ones (citation needed), The techies, The Sport blogs, Those storytellers and so much more….Hehe, There is now a Dear Auntie  Kemi section on The Great Tula’s blog sef.

Im beginning to rant.

I thi….That Reminds me!!! This recent trend of nude avatars!! Why evils?? Do you need followers that much?? I think there are better ways of getting followers than showing the whole world your nakedness. A boobvatar can suffice. Testimonies anyone?? Or be smart. Tweet wise things, Or you can even buy followers I know they do this. Nakedness is not the way o!! Think of the future.  Your bride price is reducing..minus 50kobo per hour.

As for me o!! Im trying my possible best not to do anything that will hinder me from becoming WHO president…Be yimuing there o!! Instead of you to famz now…You might want a job in the UN building then..you will now run to me. OK!

Ok. I'll stop here.I promise not to bore you much, and fewer guest writers. 
Thanks for taking your time out to read this till the end. 
 REMEMBER! all your private affairs should stay outta the public eye.

***********

Sorry for the length. I just had to.

PS: I did not go through the stress of putting up all those links for nothing o! ehen!!

*******************************************

Photo Credit: @HeartBreakKeed

Kemi: Kemmiiii you eff up I swear! na how you go dey twitfight with Lord Sinzu ehn???

Kemmiiii: You can’t understand…That dude is really %&%&&%$^%#&@%#&*&^%&# feel me?

Kemi: *gangster nod*

This is not a SUB post and all characters are fictional (yeah rite). All screen munches were made up :p

*************

I have never really Imagined myself being in a twitfight! Like really!! Who does that??

This was not a twitfight in the actual sense just a brief exchange of tweets between two ‘blessed’ children and I.

I was on my own jejely o! and This babe;

Konji geh with her Yaki flip hair tweeted outta the blues;

                                               ” @Kemmiiii You fucking suck,RETARD!!!”

I was with @t3juh at the time . I was like ” see me see wahala o! This geh is vesking ontop follow back!!

Next thing i know, Lord Sinzu Retweeted with ”O_O …What was he looking for in my mentions???

Without thinking, I concluded that Konji geh was Lord Sinzu’s younger sister because of the similarity between her handle and his former handle. That was pretty stupid tho. But all the same, they are family cuz they are great FAMZERS! and I thought I had a degree in Famzing.

That aside, I was about to ask Konji geh if she was vesking because I did not follow back. I boned. I went throught her TL and I found…

O_O I see why she’s mad.

God Bless @BankyPhoenix!! As Iwas about to tweet that the babe is mad because of a follow back, Bank tweeted:

“I can bet 5K that nah follow back make this one vex =))”

Ain’t she smart?

After that, I dunno how things got out of hand and people kept telling me to calm down. I love my tweeps!! ^_^

I really shouldn’t have answered them..T’was a waste of my precious time and it was fun too tho! I could feel my IQ diving towards the negative axis of the Line-Weaver Burke Plot (Biochemistry things).

The thing is..Lord Sinzu is really annoying, We both went to the same secondary school! #shikena. He was my senior tho! But we were never friends! we still aren’t but you know twitter na? It breeds rubbish.

So Lord Sinzu Followed Me. I followed back. He started doing this really irritating thing that pissed me off!!

Anytime I tweet at A, Lord Sinzu goes: “#nf A”

I tweet at B, Lord Sinzu goes: “#nf  B”

He will now go further to tweet darling, dearie, sweetie, cutie, lovee and all at them as if they were friends in playgroup!  Orishirishi!!

It was so disgusting, I unfollowed his ass without wasting time.

I was even surprised when i found out that my friends were still following him. We all lashed out at him at different times. Ashey it wasn’t only me that he was doing it to. The Owlowshow!

S/O to #TeamAntiLordSinzu

You see where I’m coming from now? We have a brief history!

I really dont understand how he has over two thousand followers. No offence to his followers but ye are lost sheep!  I dont want any dirty voltron flying over my head o! I know my blood smells sweet! :p

But Really!! Must I follow back? What is the point of following when all you tweet is please follow back? :s

Dont gerrit twisted..i follow back!

That will be all!!

********

PS: I have always wondered how twitfighters do when they are twitfighting. Imagine..

      Twitfighter’s Mum: Twitfighter is this Amala enough for you?

Twitfighter: Mummy I’m coming lemme throw one more jab at this babe..

Twitfighter’s Mum: Twitfighter do you want Ila abi ewedu?

Twitfighter: *plessing phone furiously* Mama calm down!!! Dem wan destroy my rep for twitter.

For me, it was usual tweeting on my way home. The driver called that he was already in my school. I went to wait for him, got in the car, “Good Afternoon Uncle Lekan” and we zoomed off! I was normal..No adrenaline. No Nothing. My battery was even low at a point and Network started effing up I begged Uncle Lekan to allow me use his car charger.

We got home, My Uncle was tryna form convo with me. I lied to him the day before that I had Biochem In-course to avoid going out with he and his children. Lord forgive me! Hehe! He was now yarning NADH, FADH2 and crap!

When I was able to flee, I went to check what Lord Sinzu and his Kid Sister had to say ^_^

PPS: Just read this. If you dont like it, I pwomise you a Bottle of Kunu 😀

Since The YNaija #hashtag party saga, I have been meaning to write this post…my hectic week did not let me…But @KevinWithAnL (agbaya like him) beat me to it..sharp guy…He did it so well I did not feel like posting this again…read it Here

Oh well! Now you’ve seen that im sure you are reeling with laughter…God go make me funnier o!

Let me add that my sweeetie @Dhamyhan is now my official Editor..yelz!

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#NIGERIANTWITTER…where can I even start from??  Is it the Gbagauns? Or the Twitter Lords? or the Twitter Celebs? Or the twitter Polize? Or the Houseboys and Housegirls? Or the Odina Wannabes? Or the Quiz master wannabes? or Sir and lady Famz-a-lots? Dont lemme bore you… I remember when twitter was just for fun…You’ll just come, tweet trash, make sense, nobody to stroke you and all….

I think the population of the Nigerian Twitter Community Took a Geometric increase that is why we have all sorts now! 😦 I even remember when the Gbagaun detector first Gbagauned me…I was so mad! I got over 100 mentions! I insulted him ehn…But I realised that it was just for fun…Twitter is not real life…It’s just a social network and the Gbagaun detector was having his fun and there i was fuming in front of my 2700..Thank God I did not even enter his favourites..see his favourites here

Nobody is perfect…But your Gbagauns make twitter fun…It’s even more fun when the Twitter Lord’s sitting on their ‘Throwns’ gbagaun..The feeling is better than getting your picture ‘taking’ after ‘catching’ a big cheque.

There is this particular Twitter Celeb….Very popular for his quizzes..Cool Aura is what he calls himself! He takes it to heart when you gbagaun any of his tweets..He will even go as far as blocking you *CHEERS* …He now came up with Twitter Amnesty Programme (TAP) where he was unblocking people with so much grandeur..who does that?? Im even surprised he dosent have a PA For his account yet…

Sadly, I was once his faithful student *_*…I wonder where he will be without google…I guess google has failed him now..cuz now he only tweets stolen quotes…Hehe and he was the one that caused that YNaija ish o! This leads me to the next…

So there was this party Hosted by Ynaija and Chocolate City (Im saying this for the sake of members of the last carriers association) So them twitter celebs went…Aura Cool twitpiced a picture of he, the detector and black super man…that Is how the ugly talk started…..Different tweets started rolling in…’Ugly’ even trended…

It was a bad night for them I’m sure..they shook It off really well…People were saying that there was no way on earth that the detector was gonna keep on Gbagauning people….they were so wrong! He resurfaced…with a gbagaun!! There was this really mean tweet and I quote “How can you “gbagaun” people’s tweets when you look like mother nature’s own “gbagaun”? #Fuckery” 😦

That is the life of a twitter celeb o! Your every tweet is watched..you dare not gbagaun what a life!

Moving On..

I’ve made some really amazing additions to the dictionary we’ve seen over time…

Superstar -> Soup or Star ( made popular by the he yay yay yay crooner)

Antiperspirant Deodorant -> Antiperspective Deodorant

Mermaid -> Marmade

Thrown -> Throne

Hills -> heels/ hiss

Self Esteem -> selves of steam

Catch -> Cash

Riff Raff -> Rift Raft (by someone very close to my heart)

Diesel ->Dizzle (Rita #udontmeanit)

Taking -> Taken

Diss -> Ditch (Na Lasu babe talk am >_>)

Suede Spray -> Swayed Spray

Peace -> Piss

Pray without ceasing ->Pray without seizing

Leornado Di Caprio -> Leolanda Di Caprisonne

Ambience → Umbeyonce

*sigh* It is well…Let us all pray without ‘siezing’ so that it will remain well..

Do I need to talk about twitfights, the twitfighters and the tribalists? They are all just Yellow Bar Seekers…You cant NOT care about someone’s opinion and twitfight the person for his/her opinion…you just kent!!

Those tribalists ehn! their own is another case…they were taking it out on poor IB girls like me..it s well with their bitter souls..

Its true sef…Almost everybody is now allergic to bullshit or Dosent Give A Fuck…when the bull now does the big  job who will now pack it then?

AHA!! The Houseboys and Housegirls…They help you cc people in your subs..We have many of them around…they can serve as voltrons at times…

Many  Twitter sociologists have propanded the caste system…here is mine….

Twitter Lords > Twitter Celebs > General Public > Famzers > Househelps > Tribalists > Quiz masters > Odinas

I have many things dancing in my head right now..ranging from the sexy, hawt, pwettie and all handles that their avatars say quite the opposite..and all the Famzers and all the teams #teamfollowback and all sorts…There are so many teams that someone new to twitter might think it’s a sports site…..But this is a saga for another day..

And remember…

It’s just twitter.

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Rants and Additions are welcome..use the comment box…CHEERS 😀

PS: Many Thanks to all the people that have been supporting me!! You guys rock!!

PPS: Don Jazzy’s Enigma is causing something else o! different songs sha! In case you haven’t heard Vic O’s song ‘Why Evils’ Download it here It is the best yet! *ROTFL* Vic O for president!! We are still awaiting Majela’s link..

PPPS: (I  wonder why I must have a PS everytime!) News getting to me states that there was a fight at the #TeamYabaLeft RAG party…And there is a video!! Hehe i think a video is better than pictures…Pictures lie!



    • Cecila: When shopping from the internet, a numerate of the great unwashed ofttimes take time to scan done a twosome of reviews on the merchandise ahead qual
    • cycatrx: Kem dela creame....... :d
    • bybaaaa: Lol. I just saw this thanks to oumissa. I love you. :*

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    Most Images are 'borrowed' from Google Images. Others are from Twitter, BBM and Instagram. This'll last till I can lay my hands on Graphic Designing.