Kemmiiii's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Fuel Subsidy


Posted on: January 21, 2012

Hi People, Anslem Filling in for Kemmiii here;

I’m quite a busy man, busy… by every known definition of the word BUSY! Before I log on…abeg make I talk how my journey take start. I was going through my group profile on facebook (Natures Children) then I was just a new member when suddenly I saw a post. It was posted by my brother Kelechi Kemnele on “Letter to my wife” >>.>> done with scanning through,I proceeded to drive off but then, my kid sister with whom I was sharing the little frame of my phone to read the post just screamed, wait! Just puzzled, my countenance changed and she showed to me something like…’s a reply from another blogger…

Not too interested, and in a bid to satisfy my sheer curiosity, at first I skimmed through, later scanned and then became so fully engrossed. Haba… My ego as a man was bruised…heh??? A babe wrote this??? And from that day… I left my blog to concentrate on appraising her blog if it’s worth my attention. Though I’ve got a full four paged reply to her (Kemmiiii)…

I’ve got a PLAN!!! And that’s to release the post some days before Valentine’s Day ….Hahahahahahah!!!! (((Sneezes (_–_) )))).That, I guess, will be the best time frame to put ladies like Kemmiiii with “dia” endless emotional and psychological shopping list in check! Fortunately… I’m well positioned for her “wish list”……I heavy die!!!

(Hmmm I hear someone say watcha finking) <<< dey dia if I no blo ma Trump”ET Na you go blo am???

Ok. That’s the online history ab initio of how I came in contact with Kemmiiii’s blog and the rest is subscribing to her post while I’m still putting my sketchy blog in shape….At least to give the  woman a voice.


I’m assuming the tripartite writer”. U must have viewed that movie.. The Ghost writer. Somewhat like it but mine is different. I’m viewing this current issue in Naija and came to the conclusion that some folks are quite ill informed, myopically displaced while the others are socially acting tweedy”” eh na! dem no know wetin subsidy be, and dey just following the trend and commenting on the side that has major facts to carry them along whether right or wrong…..Examples like this make me Para>>>>>>>(u can complete the grammar dan’Allah <Hausa>….>(please)

The Current plagues in Naija.

It amazes me how eminent, elite and well read Nigerians are treating the dicey issue of subsidy. Here’s what subsidy means.

Subsidy is money given by the Government a grant or gift of money, financial assistance to companies either private or state owned, organization to help it to function

In Aba: Haa’ si na subsidy ge’me nid isi nor’na govermenti ga ‘zuu egbe;na ihe ndi ozor’’’ha ne’gi alu’a agha(they said that will make head of government parastatals to aquire guns and other things used for war.

The other man sitting under the Peugeot 406.. sharply cuts in ….Ta! Eku’zi’na ifa>>> (don’t say that again)

He washes his hand in the fuel meant to serve as a mechanical reagent or whatever and cleans his left hand…his back pocket na im be the rag-towel and continues’

Who told you ? eh ? who told you? He continues….Okonjo Iweala… who is currently the chief of army barracks and minister of oil subsidy (which kain posishun be that ??)  said  that subsidy .. is for the oil to be imported from the ground and then let the federalgovernment keep the ships and hand over to the demurrage head quarters!!!!!

What an idea! …..what do we call this …ignoratio elenchi…..abi na  argumentum ad verecundiam…. Pls sort ya sef out.. the man sef na professor…..

In Benin: In a bus heading to Ugbowo (near Uniben)….pinging… pinging. texting… the girl behaving sexy…. Having a swag coefficient of 6.7/ 10 at least a B++ swag … u know na… she blew it all up. How?  After dropping her call…her countenance  changed… so her friend…(name with held) asked…. Whats the mara (hmm na hia my ear pin wella)…..  She began her replies like this: they said that the av bombs the Yobes people….(eh!) grammar! Person wey dey make call dey talk of Pol 344?? I just shun ….den she continued; I pity for Ty Danjuma ehhh yaaaaa

And her friend asked; why U dey pity am? Quickly she retorted, Na im be the husband of former senator Ehanire Dajuma na….realizing the reason for her friends concern she addeded her own bit of””””eeeehhhh yaaa to express her nonchalant sympathy too. Then the other chick burst my bubbles…. U know now? …. Because that’s the capital of Taraba state! His home state.  Gbam!  eh! For Naija hia….? The man sitting next to the babe cast a serious gaze at me and I nodded my head in Unison……chei Yobe… is the capital of Taraba…. Courtesy of Boko Haram…

Some how I was lambasting seriously, that in a country where everything seems to be a current issue….I learnt a lesson, Not everything” wearing a denim pant, some tops” to match and a koi koi shoe waving a BB (like a flag) could easily be taken as a hip’ chic… Caveat to the guys>>> Interact first before collecting ha n u m b e r s pls!!!

Tobechukwu and I were somewhere along eastern bye pass headed toward NLNG Jetty in Port Harcourt, the traffic hold up was unbearable so guys I had to alight and look for the easiest way to “piss” charpali sharpali… before now, I’d been complaining to Tobe, that I was really hungry… Tobe’ being a stubborn boy… was asking me to make sacrifices on his behalf… He was tapping my foot to keep my complaints low cos he needed to set a “skoto” (like setting a P”) for the chic to fall into” Tobe.’s phone was ringing mercilessly and he saved the number as  “family Nurse”… Me maa… I’ve not heard of an adjective like that used to qualify some’ones position or whatever….

The Chic, was heading to Bonny so see her mum, and I myself my heading somewhere close to NLNG.. I was heading to Finima Island also in Bonny. At least I had budgeted  3 hrs in the sea …. And gradually being kept buried by the tides of hunger .. I finally kept silent … There’s no worst experience like being hungry and feeling sleepy…lie!!!! Try it.. and u will never Sleep. … many thoughts ran through my head.

Later when we arrived at the jetty, I got my ticket while tobe was still “forming” and pacing up and down looking for a cheap lie…. Tobe, Like I’ve always said refused to heed my wise counsel… that is to give the “shenkess” (babe)  some lil cash and free her … Nope! The idiot refused and wanted to drop both of us .. Big boy forming…pocket half empty….

Sharpli. I walked to a fast food centre and  had some meatpie available for myself. On coming back… without interruption… Tobe was already delivering his well rehearsed lines….He just gave ne the normal football signage “like in the case of a free kick”  or somewhat analogical to a director calling it “cut”!! in a movie production scene… .. he was gesticulating  waving his palms as if cutting his neck.. I just bent my head and walked briskly

Hear him” Ibimina” U know how well I’ve planned all this for You… your comfort is my priority (for my mind that one na hotel advert lines ).. the chick was bizi flogging her Pakistani (Indian Moroccan or brazillian)? hair .. while Tobe was delivering his lines… I never anticipated beyond my widest expectations the multiplier effect this fuel subsidy would have on my financial status( hey! At this I paused… Warri!! No dey carry last… I ‘ve already known where he was headed)…

So he continued… for now based on the fuel subsidy issue, >>> Im personally adopting a palliative measure by WATCHING MY WEIGHT  FINANCIALLY!!! (haba! At this Na im  I head towards the house boat… I did not even hail my man ……goodbye…that lie alone. Deserved a standing ovation……. Seriously…….

Ibimina was smiling gladly when I looked back…..

I was headed home……To Finima… To the creeks. Where a canoe trip from Ogbia to Amassoma was a fee of paddling with your strength  unlike cycling from Ikeja to Yaba… or better from Alausa to  Mile 2, …..

After all I once used a Camel In Funtua to make a trip to Dandume Village while I was in the North…..By then I tot I was acting below my standard but when I woke up and saw N 141.10 in TOTAL filling station… I was searching for Ustaz Musbahu’s number to import  some camels to Badagry…. At least…. To make judicious use  of my business acumen…..

Sai anjuma…..!


It was like child’s play when I typed my angry letter to Mr. President and sent it to The Punch for publishing. I knew my chances of getting published were slim but I sent it anyways.

On Thursday morning, it became a reality; I woke up to so many missed calls and texts messages from strange phone numbers. I went on to receive more phone calls and text messages even till Sunday. This experience has been an eye opener for me; igt led me to see how much the everyday Nigerian feels but he cannot express.

I deeply appreciate all the feedback I got in form of texts, phone calls, Facebook and Twitter messages.

Thankfully, we had uninterrupted power supply in LUTH from the night before till Monday; but I woke up to the sad news that Mr. President just made a nationwide broadcast and he had ‘declared’ the new pump price of petrol to be =N=97 per liter and he had deployed the military men to Lagos to bring protesters to book. That is an infringement on our rights. This is a democracy we have the right to say NO when the government brings about unjust policies. This is not a dictatorship.

Mr. President, your soldiers were so well equipped and professional. Why then did you send them after the innocent and unarmed masses and not Boko Haram? Did you even think about that?

I knew the kind of reaction this will bring so I took to twitter to see what the youth had to say; Of course the youth were not happy. Their reaction was like;

“=N=65 or nothing! #OccupyNigeria”

 But a select few felt otherwise. Check this out;

“=N=141 to =N=97…at least they have reduced it”

I believe this is the kind of mentality that has gotten us to where we are today. If we stood our ground in times past when the leaders were removing the subsidy poco a poco, surely they will think twice before even thinking about removing the subsidy. It is high time we get rid of such mentality and fight for our rights instead of suffering because of the government’s insufficiencies.

I see what the president did there though, He increased the pump price of fuel from =N=65 to =N=97. He just conned his way to make us think that he reduced it. Do not be deceived.

We waited for news from the NLC/TUC leaders. They shifted ground. They bailed on us. They called off the strike. Now that I’m thinking about it; it was a plan after all; It could not be a coincidence that the military presence was put in place so that when the strike is called off, the unsatisfied populace will not go haywire and take to the streets. We do not know what happens during your so-secret deliberations so all we can do is to speculate.

Now that you have had your way and the masses have been left to be trampled upon, there are so many things disturbing me.

Firstly, since we are still in the 2011 fiscal year, whose pockets will the extra =N=44 per liter go? And whose pockets did subsidy that has been removed since the first of January go? Because I know for sure that these subsidies have been catered for in the 2011 budget.

Secondly, since you claim to not know the cabal and you have asked for the NNPC to be audited, how sure are we that you will not keep on protecting the cabal? Even if the cabal is brought forward, how do you intend to prosecute them? We know how it goes. We hope they don’t develop any terminal illness during trial after which they will be sentenced to 6 months in a fancy hospital and come back to lead their fancy lives. That is not justice Mr. President. They have to be dealt with like the criminals that they are.

Also, immediately after your January first broadcast, the price of almost everything escalated. What are we meant to do now because there is no way on earth that these prices are going to fall and we still have to go to the same market with the same pay?

Lastly, the 2012 budget must not be approved. All the excesses of the government have to be cut short. The Nigerians cannot keep on paying for the excesses of our government. We want a budget that is free of anomalies before it is approved.

I also hope the promises made by the SURE program are going to be effected. We are tired of the government’s promise and fail. Make a difference and let us renew our trust in you.

In conclusion, the gadget wielding Nigerian youth are now more informed than ever. We are watching and taking note of every step of the way. The president should not be intimidated by the bounty of our knowledge. This is the information age and we refuse to watch and wait. If you destroy Nigeria now, what will be left for us?

May those that lost their lives to the struggle rest in perfect peace.

The only thing I can ask you is WHY???. Why??

I’m scheduled to sit for my first professional exam commencing on the 23rd of this month. Only God knows If the exam is going to hold on the said date. Knowing the gravity of this exam, I am always riddled with guilt if I am not reading or sleeping. Sometimes I could be caught tweeting; but I could not imagine myself taming my anger by writing a letter. Now, I cannot read. Neither can I sleep. Tweeting is the last thing on my mind. I cannot read because there is no power and my rechargeable lamp has lost all its power. I cannot sleep because of the overwhelming heat in my small LUTH room. I am using the remaining power on my laptop to write this letter to you. I can spare my remaining battery power because I believe I am typing away my anger.

I may not know all the facts and the figures or the intricate details but I sure know what is happening. I have read different articles; Listened to my uncles argue. I have listened to people lamenting about the state of the nation. Everybody expressing almost the same views.

First of all, deliberations had not yet been concluded before you slapped us in the face with the awesome New Year’s Day gift. The issue of  subsidy removal I am sure has been swept aside by most Nigerians for the holiday celebration since you said it was going to effect from the 1st of April being the beginning of the financial year. Truth be told, many Nigerians don’t know what the subsidy means. They just know that the price of Fuel has just escalated for the umpteenth time in 10 years.

What is this I hear about the subsidy being non-existent? That our local refineries can produce enough fuel for the nation’s daily consumption. How true is this? If you ask me, I will tell you that there is some sort of conspiracy behind all this. Some people are obviously benefitting from this importing and exporting frenzy because no answers are being provided and the only logical thing for the government to have done over the years is to have fixed the refineries. You do not need a doctorate degree to know this.

Mr. President, remove the subsidy on fuel but not at this time. Provide us with good roads, stable electricity, affordable housing, good healthcare facilities, standard education, employment and most of all, Increase minimum wage.

You cannot expect someone to live on =N=18,000 every month. It does not even sound feasible. How will you pay rent, eat, pay transport fare  and still send your children to school. This is pure EVIL!! When you were asking us to vote for you, you said you had no shoes. In essence, you want other people to go about without shoes too?? We thought you will understand the plight of the poor and make a difference.

On another turf, being a lecturer, we expected you to uphold the essence of education. Now ASUU is on strike. Young students are sitting at home. Idle. When the money you use to wet your garden can make so much difference. It is a shame.

This is meant to be a government of the people, by the people and for the people; but you don’t act as such. You act as if you are against us. How can you overhaul your kitchen utensils with millions of naira every year and Nigerians are hungry. It really baffles me because I am now wondering if you swallowed the spoons and the pots you used last year along with the food. A recent analysis stated that with the amount of money you want to use to feed, I can spend =N=50,000 for the next 52 years of my life.  I don’t understand how the very brilliant Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala let such anomalies pass through her office.

You went to South Africa to celebrate with the ANC. I am pretty sure that you saw their standard airport and their good roads; you cannot say you are Ray Charles to all the good things that are there. Not only South Africa, all other nations you travel to in your pretty presidential jet. You see how all those things work and you cannot come back here to do the same. Murtala Muhammed Int’l is the same of a nation.

We are not occupying Nigeria only because of the fuel subsidy removal. We are also saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! Enough of the corruption, money laundering, wasteful spending, unaccountability and all other vices that are synonymous with the Nigerian government.

On a final note, the whole world is watching Mr. President. The whole world is watching. You had better ditch your Fedora for a thinking cap.

Hey people! Happy New Year to you all, Hope you’re having an awesome new year, Subsidy aside.

Today, I have a post written by my friend and colleague; Joey @Joe4jah


I just had to put this into writing, perhaps one bold man (I’m not a sexist, with all due apologies to the XX species) — Cos only men have these kinda balls (just 4, including the eyeballs) — will get inspired enough to buy into my idea and who knows? It just might be the future!

Watching all sorts of documentaries while growing up, I couldn’t ignore this about the Chinese and the Japs. Those dudes live long I must confess, that is if they survive the urge to commit suicide. Ignore the noodles, let’s face the bicycles.

I’ve always been saying to my friends that we need to adopt that “bicycle society” thingy but they scoffed at me asking if I would like to RIDE a bicycle to work while others DRIVE cars. But now, we have to revisit this issue with the increase in fuel price due to the removal of subsidy which some claimed never even existed…  that’s talk for another day (not meant literally though).

The importance of bicycles to the Nigerian society cannot be over-emphasized and I’m just gonna share them with you in case you’ve never really thought about it before.

1          Bicycles are cheap! And guess what, they do the same job of transportation. The money you would use in buying a car would buy a dozen bikes.  Common, sell that car and make every member of your family a proud bike owner and if you’ve got no family member, a lil extra cash on your hands to fund your other non-fuel related vanities.

2          Kneel down to thank me if I give you a bicycle for your wedding gift (2 would be appropriate cos you’re a couple right?). If I give you a car, I’d be ruining your marriage a little too early cos that’s gonna be your “kalokalo”. What would it cost you to maintain a bicycle? Engine oil I guess… just to make sure u ride without friction (I’m sure a dirty mind is saying SEXUAL already *smh*). But to maintain a car? I don’t have one, no one in my house does (fuel-subsidy-removal-induced courage) but I have friends that do and I hear words on the streets. Fuel is just but a part of the maintenance albeit a very important one. Long and short of the story: TO HELL WITH FUEL (Oops! We don’t want that, do we? Talk about shooting yourself in the leg).

3          I can bet the battery of my laptop (it’s spoilt FYI) that you know someone or someone that knows someone that is suffering from hypertensive heart disease. Heart diseases and stroke usually originate from hypertensive heart disease too before you say na only stroke full ur family. Imagine living in Ikeja while working in Yaba. Cycling to and from work everyday will keep you healthy for real. You’ll burn off the excess calories in your body, you’ll reduce your blood cholesterol level and ladies always wanting to be in shape cos of the high level of P setting in town (you gotta keep ur man, hoes girls ain’t smiling) will have just the perfect medium to do that. Cycling will increase the life expectancy in Nigeria cos hypertensive heart disease is a major killer no thanks to junk food courtesy of the likes of KFC (I know they just came but they’re spreading like the plague dammit!).

4          For those of you that feel you’ve really not done anything to help mother earth. Here is a chance to feel relevant. It’s still bicycle o. But think of the fact that you won’t be burning hydrocarbon fuels anymore. Think of the fact that you won’t be releasing green house gases. Think of your impact in salvaging the ozone layer and the fact that your children will reduce or maybe eradicate the curses they’ll place on this generation for doing so much damage to the ozone layer. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Get a bike TODAY!

5          The view! Oh my! The views I meant! My dear brethren, it is with gladness of heart I announce to you…*drums rolling*… the breath-taking, asthma-inducing, early morning booties! Yeah u read well… BOOTIES! Asses if you like. You’re gonna be blessed with some gracious views of them asses on the bike as u ride behind them (again, NOT SEXUAL). Morning is better cos they would have put in a lot to look their best (ladies I know y’all look in the mirror to confirm if that ass is gonna kill). Coming back from work, it ain’t gonna be looking so fresh anymore + you’ll be too tired to appreciate the goodness therein… except for some horny bastids of course.

6          P setting! P setting toh quality! When stuck in a little bike traffic and the babe beside you looks like it, go for it soldier! Ride by her side and set that P. You’ll be amazed at how many peeps you’d meet on the road while receiving the early morning fresh air. Bliss… that’s what it sounds like to me.

I’ m sure y’all get the crux of the matter. We don’t need fuel that much. We can cut down on that “golden fluid” and tell those idiats to stick their own pee sticks up their own asses we are survivors. *in Abacha’s voice*So fellow Nigerians, let the cycling begin!

I want to thank my colleagues @Dhamyhan 4 his wise contributions & @Kemmiiii for hosting me on her webspace. I look forward to more collabos (yet not sexual).


What do you think?

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  • Cecila: When shopping from the internet, a numerate of the great unwashed ofttimes take time to scan done a twosome of reviews on the merchandise ahead qual
  • cycatrx: Kem dela creame....... :d
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